Pollyanna (alicenwndrln) wrote,
Pollyanna
alicenwndrln

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Hey....I would have NO hope of even remotely ever finding enough time to catch myself up with what all ya'll have been up to while I was away. So PLEASE....if something happened that you want to share with me (good or bad), please post a link to that journal entry, & I will be sure to check it out. I don't want to miss anything, but particularly nothing significant to you. I hope you understand that this is the only realistic tactic I can take, cause I just wouldn't have the time to catch up with everyone....over a week's worth.

I won't get to my trip post until tomorrow. I called my supervisor & got my shift covered for tomorrow....I truly need another day to recup. I don't feel remotely rested yet. I slept 11 hours last night, but still feel drained, & I need to do a suitcase full of laundry.

I find some things to be really amusing. I find it amusing that someone who complains about their nasty, cold, heartless, unfeeling bitch of a sister turns out to be more like that sister than she'd care to admit, pulling some nasty, cold, heartless, unfeeling, bitchy shit herself. I find it amusing that someone bitches & moans about how chickenshit "hit & run" people are....what losers they are...and then pulls a massive hit & run, herself. I mean, if you are gonna be a hypocrite, at least admit it. I find it amusing when people claim to be really mature, & then do really immature shit. Constantly. Tragic life experiences can make us grow up rapidly....but if bad things happened to us in our childhood, sometimes we stay in that childhood a bit, doing childish things. Having some wisdom is one thing....but being wise about SOME things has NOTHING to do with you being mature. I find it amusing when someone critizes my life...my faults...my personality...and then can't get a date if she paid for one. And when/if she actually finds someone to date her, it doesn't go well. I am the first person to admit my relationships are rarely successful...but at least I am going on dates. At least I have options, & lots of them. I have no less than 50 guys emailing me from Hot or Not at any given time....50+ consistently, sometimes going well over 100. Then I have guys responding to me left & right from other ads. Sometimes I meet them, sometimes they want to see me again, sometimes they don't. But at least I am getting plenty of offers. Don't tell me I have personality flaws that make me lose friends, when you have MANY personality flaws of your own....obviously. EVERYONE loses friends from time to time. It happens. It usually happens because you either cease to have things in common, grow apart, or realize that your differences cannot be ignored. I am pretty philosophical about all the friendships I have lost (on the net). One dropped me because supposedly I am "too negative" & close-minded. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This same person is friends with 3 of the most negative, miserable human beings I have met in my life. One is just a nasty, bitter person...bitter at her lot in life. The other two have had hard lives...and are just miserable, & can't rise above it. They admit how negative they are....they admit that they are not "happy, positive" people. And yet this person who said I was too negative remains friends with them. Interesting. I would say that is yet another case of jealousy. Some people genuinely cannot stand perky people. Yes, I go on rants from time to time...but generally speaking, I am pretty funny, pretty fun, pretty happy, pretty perky, etc. And some people just cannot STAND that. Close-minded? I think people who know me well would LAUGH that claim right out the door. There are a few things I AM close-minded to...I confess. But name me one person who doesn't have a FEW things they are close-minded to! I cannot imagine someone being open-minded to EVERYTHING on this Earth. It's not possible. Yes, I tend to see a lot of things in black & white, as opposed to shades of gray...but it DOESN'T make me a horrible person, & even losing 3 "friends" (& I question the value of their friendship from the start, frankly, with the exception of one), I have plenty of others, & continue to make others constantly. I have friends I have been close to for 10+ years, & people I have just gotten to know. Friends come & go sometimes....just like you marry someone thinking you will be with that person for the rest of your life....and then things change (sometimes drastically) & you get a divorce...maybe even after saying you would NEVER get a divorce. Things happen. People change. Things change. I go through spurts of being furious with my sister....and then having a blast with her. I go through spurts of wanting to strangle my grandmother to adoring her. I get irritated with some friends occasionally, & then love them to death the next day. Friends come & go....boyfriends/girlfriends/lovers/husbands/wives come & go. Shit happens. Life happens. I find it ironic when a friendship ends....and without knowing BOTH sides to the story, someone forms the opinion that it MUST have been ONE person's fault...the other person had NO blame in it whatsoever. Please. In EVERY friendship I have lost lately (online...ironically, I haven't lost any real life friends in years....not since high school), there has definitely been blame on both ends....in fact, *I* would claim the blame to be MOSTLY on THEIR ends...while I am sure they would claim most of the blame to be on MY end. *ironic grin* I know in the desolution of this last "friendship"....it was a loooong time in coming, & I didn't do a DAMN thing. I got accused of a lot of bullshit things (to be addressed later), but they were just that...bullshit. This person has lost her mind (which SHE, herself, has admitted to in her journal many times, so no shock there). I was completely innocent of the things I was accused of....but it doesn't matter. I wasn't given a chance to defend myself. It was a hit & run...something she claims to hate & disrespect. Hypocracy, anyone? Hellllllooooooooo! *giggle* I own up to things I do wrong. I make mistakes. All the time. I am human. Sometimes I do or say without thinking first. Sometimes I'm a hypocrite. Sometimes I'm feisty. But I DON'T lie, especially when confronted. And I don't run from my mistakes, nor deny them. If I have honestly done something to someone, I will own up to it, & usually apologize. When I deny something...that's because I am 100% sure that I am innocent of all charges. And this time....the accusations seriously came out of left field, & were baseless. I couldn't even sit there & say, "Yeah, I did that....I understand where's she's coming from, why she's mad. I deserve that." Nope. Not here.

Why do people have such a hard time seeing their own hypocracy, but have NO trouble pointing out the same quality in others? I mean, if you can point out hypocracy in others, you obviously know what it is, right? So how can you be blind to your own? Is that a human quality? Is that normal in all of us? To say you are honest & direct, but then never confront someone directly when YOU have issues with THEM, waiting for THEM to come to you, or whatever? To say you hate someone for being cold & heartless & then turn around & do something cold & heartless yourself? To make critiques of someone else's personality & then really need to work on your own? To claim to hate hit & runs & then hit & run someone else? To claim to hate liars but then be a liar yourself? To critique someone's life...when your own needs plenty of work? Oh my...there's just too much irony & entertainment & hypocracy to recall it all here....*smile*
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