Pollyanna (alicenwndrln) wrote,
Pollyanna
alicenwndrln

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I had a great ride to work today.

Called my dad to ask his advice on whether I should go to my doctor or the ER again. He told me to go to my doctor (the ER doesn't care about things like colds/flus), & demand a chest X-ray & bloodwork. I think I have walking pneumonia. Anyway....I call to make an appointment with my doctor...and my account is red-flagged since it's delinquent. I can't pay the bill. It's $106....I don't have it. So I can't be seen. I could be & probably am seriously ill (6 weeks of fever is NOT normal, & now I am having fairly serious chest pain & trouble breathing), & can't be seen.

I am calling the collection agency tomorrow to see if I can send them $5 just to make the account current, & send them the balance in January, hopefully. I NEED to see the doctor, & get some tests done. This is ridiculous. No one likes to lose their voice, but when you make a living with your voice & it keeps coming & going, that is NOT good. The chest pain, fever, headaches (I would assume from the fever), light-headedness, & exhaustion is NO fun....and 6 weeks of it is ENOUGH.

So I start bawling in the car. It's hard to drive when you are sobbing. And I always wonder what people will think when they look in the car. I just kept saying, "No more, God....no more....no more, God....enough....enough....no more...." I can't take anymore. Stick a fork in me, I'm done. *sigh*

Thanks for all those who wish they could help me. More than that, I wish I could help my lame self. But your generous hearts mean a lot to me. Everything happens for a reason....there's some reason I am suffering...some reason I am broke...some reason I am so sick & not getting better....etc...just who knows what those reasons are???
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