I don't feel well at ALL today. Not at all. I have no clue what's wrong with me, though. I didn't sleep well last night, but I don't think I should feel that bad just from that. I took my blood pressure & it was pretty low, while my pulse (resting) was fast: 98/56, pulse 86. Hmmmmm.....
I think I am feeling overwhelmed, for one thing.
I met a new guy at lunch yesterday. Cole seems to have dropped off the planet (I am glad I DIDN'T have sex with him); Joe just wants me for sex (which is fine from time to time, but he has a little....ummmm...hardness problem), Peter & I have a hard time connecting since we're both so busy (he wants to see me next week, though), Ryan (the security guard at Knott's) told me he had two dates planned for his days off, & couldn't see me....so I was like bye-bye Ryan. I don't wait around for anyone....I don't beg....etc.
So a few of us walked to lunch yesterday, Tokyo Teriyaki. It's across the street from Knott's. Me, Erin, Alicia, & our tech, Dave. We were sitting there waiting for our food, when a cute guy driving a BMW pulled up. Erin elbowed me & raised her eyebrows...she's ALWAYS trying to fix me up with somebody. Alicia pretended to grab his butt at the counter...it was a cute little tush. We all thought he was cute...except for Dave, of course. He left, but then came back in...and I noticed that he was wearing a Power shirt (as in the car company that Wayne Gretzky is spokesperson for now). So I started to serenade him with the Power theme song. He started laughing, & that got us started talking to him. He mentioned he worked for Toyota of Buena Park, & I just casually mentioned that I wanted a Toyota (I have always wanted a Toyota....my mom always drove one...and my dad & I have been talking about them lately....they get GREAT gas mileage). He told me to come see him if I really wanted one, that he was the fleet manager. He said he'd give me his card, but he didn't have any on him. I didn't think much of it, but by the end of the day, I asked Erin & Alicia if I should go "car shopping." I went to the Entertainment office & got the number for Toyota of Buena Park out of the phone book, & as I was driving there, I called to make sure he was still there. He was, & when he answered the phone, I said, "Hi, Jarrett, this is one of the Knott's girls you met in Tokyo Teriyaki today." He sounded really surprised & very happy to hear from me, & he automatically remembered which one I was. We chatted casually for a bit, & I told him I was on my way there to see some cars. He said he'd be looking out for me.
5 minutes later, I pull up, & there is he is...as adorable as he was earlier. He's 6'1, has brown hair & beautiful blue eyes (my fave combo), a cute nose, a GREAT smile, & is a former football player (so he's pretty built). Alice like.
He told me he needed to move his car, so he told me to jump in while he did that. I did, & he moved it around the corner. We ended up sitting in his car & talking for 30-45 minutes. The BMW was really nice, but he said he's had a lot of little problems with it, & he's only keeping it until the new Supra comes out in 2005 or so. We were definitely flirting with each other, that was obvious. I hadn't known if he was interested at lunch, but now it was fairly obvious. At one point he said, "Oh yeah, we are going to get along JUST fine, we have the same sense of humor. I understand you already." (Riiiiight, like anyone---including myself---will ever understand me.)
He showed me a new Corolla, cause I specified I wanted something that got really good gas mileage. My truck gets 25MPG at most...the Corolla gets 40MPG. A nice improvement, in other words. It was a really nice car. We sat in the Corolla & talked some more. The more I talked to him, the more I liked him. He said he finds smoking gross, & he hardly ever drinks anymore, & he doesn't do drugs. His parents own the Lexus dealership in Glendale, which is 5-10 minutes from me. He's young---25 in December---but he's been in charge of great amounts of responsibility for years now. He definitely came off pretty mature to me. He finally decided to run my credit, even though I told him it was AWFUL. He also looked up the KBB value of my Ranger (Fords have really bad re-sale value...it's worth 4500-5000 at most...and it cost $11K+ 2 years ago). He introduced me to his supervisor, who said she'd try to work out a good deal for me, Jarrett having introduced me as "a good friend of mine."
But I am overwhelmed with all the details. This would kinda be like a dream car for me. I have always wanted a Toyota, because my mom always drove one...they remind me of her (although she had a Camry), & they are just damn good cars. Toyota is the number one car in the world...it goes---in order---Toyota, Honda, & then Nissan. Toyota has an excellent reputation, excellent re-sale value, & they just last forever (they are not #1 for no reason, after all). The car is used, a 2003, 26K miles. It's Toyota Certified, which means it has not been involved in any accidents, etc. It comes with a 6 year, 100,000 mile warranty...roadside coverage, towing, etc. This one is silver, which I LOVE. It's fully loaded....automatic everything, keyless entry, CD player, etc. Jarrett is hiding it on the roof for me. I just don't see how I'd be able to get it. I think it's around $14K. My trade-in would be no more than $5000, so that's a lot of remaining money. Jarrett is confident he can get me a loan for it (which could also serve to REDEEM my credit), but the interest payment WILL be high, & God only knows what the payments will be (could be around $300 a month...and I have ZERO disposable income). However, I would save SOOO much money on gas. Gas prices have gone back up to around $1.90 here! I fill up ($30+) every other day. The Corolla would save me so much in gas. And frankly, I have become weary of not having a backseat. The Corolla has a 5 star safety rating...that's the safest rating it can get. My dad is insistant that I am in something safe....he thinks the Ranger is safer because it's bigger, but how can you beat a 5 star safety rating? Fords are crap, Toyotas rock.
But I can't pay $300 a month! No way! I am hoping I can convince my dad & grandmother to help me out with some dough....$2500 each would be sweet....then I would "only" have about $4000 left to finance. But I don't know how much either of them would help me. I asked Momme Dot, & initially she said "NO!" Then I told her Dad was probably going to help me, so she said she would, too. But that doesn't tell me how MUCH they are willing to help...and my dad's not on board yet. He said he wants to do some research...but they aren't going to hold that car for me forever.
The money stress is wearing me down. I need a benefactor. I HAVE to get an agent if I am going to start getting auditions. But in order to get an agent, I HAVE to get new headshots. I look completely different than my old one. That will be around $500 total. I don't have $500. So I don't have any money to invest in my own future. If my dad & Momme Dot help out with the car, I can't exactly ask them to help here, too. But I desperately need that $500 so that I can get this done. I can't get an agent without headshots, & I can't get parts without auditions, & I can't get auditions without an agent. *sigh*
I am way behind on bills. I am just weary. Resigned.
I marched into Jack's office the other day, & asked him to put in a good word for me with the "Hanging" auditions. "The Hanging" is a very popular show during Halloween Haunt at Knott's. I really want to do it. But I can't do that & my regular job, too, it would be too much overtime. Jack is in charge of the entire park. So I went into his office & asked him to make me salaried for the month of October, so I could do both, & he said he would "make it happen" if I got cast. Then I asked him to put in a good work for me, & he said he'd call my boss the next day. Jack likes ballsy people...and I have balls to spare.
I am just so tired......*sigh*
But Jarrett is a nice plus....I really like him....but am unsure whether he likes me likes me, or sex likes me. Hard to tell....
I was so embarrassed for him to see my credit. He wanted to know why I was embarrassed, cause he did this all day for people, & had seen worse. I said, "Because I am trying to impress you." He said, "You've already impressed me, I'm taking you out no matter what." :-)
Soooo tired....sooo weary....