Pollyanna (alicenwndrln) wrote,
Pollyanna
alicenwndrln

Planets in reverse bringing memories of the past......

Lots of old people coming back into my life. Last night, I hung out with & had dinner with Eric Freiler. He was a friend of mine my senior year at West High, whom I had met through Dia O'Brien. I haven't spoken of Eric on here, but it was his car I was in when I had that awful car accident my senior year. I was with him at the time, his car was totalled. I sure remember that, it was awful. Anyway, I was never attracted to him when we were teenagers, & frankly, after the car accident, I didn't really see him that much. There was all kinds of drama with him & Dia (her getting jealous of him paying attention to me, even though they were just friends). Then I saw him at the class reunion last August, & oddly, found myself attracted to him. Go figure. Sometimes things change when we grow up. We did not see each other between last August & last night, but we are extremely comfortable with each other. We just fell right back into a comfortable friendship. We had a great time last night, lots of laughs. He is single, doing well in business, & just bought his own house in Torrance (where I went to high school). It's kind of cool, because there are not too many people in my life now who knew my mom. There is definitely something sparking here...what, I don't know. There was some heavy duty flirting going on. I actually got really ballsy at one point, & said, "I was surprised to find myself attracted to you at the reunion last year, & if you hadn't had a girlfriend, I might have jumped you when I drove you home." He said, "Yeah, me too....I might have jumped myself, too." He's Mr. Smarty Pants. But then he said, "Yeah, I was checking you out, too." And later, he said, "You are looking really good," & I think he said it at least one other time. He said I should come over again, & next time, to bring my pjs so I can stay over. It could be a "friends with benefits" type thing, or it could be we hook up & then fade out of each other's lives again (I hope not), or it could be something more serious. I honestly don't know, & honestly don't know what I'd want. Part of me wouldn't mind being in something exclusive with him, we certainly go way back (but he just ended something serious in Feb.), but the other part of me is enjoying being single, & dating as I please. I will probably see him next weekend, we mentioned getting together again this weekend. I said, "Sadly, I am pretty free on the weekends," & he said, "So am I." He even made fun of our old classmates, who still go boozing on weekend nights. Cool. So we shall see what happens.

I also found a guy named Jeff Eith, whom I was "in love" with before I moved to California. He was one of my dorm counselors when I went to USIU in San Diego, the 2nd time. I was "in love" with both him & his roommate, Toast (his real name is Thorsten). Well, I found Jeff, he is living in LA, & we talked on the phone for over an hour. I hope to meet him for lunch or something, sometime soon. He is married, so romance is not a possibility, but it's still great to find him, after years of looking. Toast, as it turns out, is starring on "Port Charles," the soap opera. He's quite the stud in the soap world. And *I* fucked him! Heh-heh.....my friend, Susan, casts for "Port Charles" & "General Hospital," & she said she'd take me to the studio one day to surprise Toast. He is seriously involved, so no romance there either....but these guys meant so much to me back then.....it would be amazing to see them again. Even though Jeff & I talked forever, & he seemed excited, I doubt either one of them are as excited as I am. The last words Toast said to me were, "I love you Cassie," & Jeff said that, too....but that was the summer of '89. A lot has changed...but at least we didn't leave on a bad note.

Keep traveling with me down memory lane. (The planets being in reverse is what is causing people to remember the past, etc.) I also found Chris Waldrop. He was this really hot Mtn. Brook guy who lived just down the street from us on Knollwood. I dated him briefly, if you want to call it dating. I went over to swim at his house once, went with him to the Downtown Library once, & we made out once. I guess he wanted to have sex, & he remembers me telling him, "I can't, my Mom would know!" Heh-heh. She would have, too! Chris is also the one who introduced me to Hernando, whom I ended up dating for a while. Chris & Hernando were/are good friends. Chris is drop-dead gorgeous, my old friend, Cammi, & I spotted him outside his house one day mowing the lawn, & we BOTH wanted him. Anyway, I have talked to him on the phone several times, & we talk online almost every day.....he lives in Huntsville now, & might come out to visit me....or maybe drive down to B'ham, when I am there for Xmas. Total Lipton. And he's still single, too. But I remember him being very intense, sexually speaking....and he had this way of looking straight through you....very intense. And his memory is AMAZING! He remembers my stomach, my breasts, how smooth my skin is....and he hasn't touched it for over 12 years!!!!! He has a better memory than I do!

Speaking of Cammi, I located her, too. She is in Texas....I know she just moved, but I think she is still in Texas. We are supposed to talk by phone, too, but so far it's just been emails. It was good to find her, & she was very upset to learn of Mom's death. Mom treated her very good, which was nice since Cammi never had the greatest parents. I also have been in touch with Dana Fugazatto, if you can believe that. Also, Joseph Sacher (a guy from Mtn. Brook I dated briefly in 9th grade), Laura Quenelle, & a few others. Classmates.com is an AWESOME site.

I am rehearsing a musical called "Working." It opens Oct. 27th.

Looking for work during the week....trying to find something I have the skills for....heck, I might end up mud-wrestling, who knows?

Met a guy online I dig...we exchange emails almost every day. His name is Tudor & he lives in Romania. He is beautiful. He offered to fly me to Romania, & let me stay with him for a few weeks, all at his expense, to get a different perspective on America. But I cannot go, of course, due to rehearsals.

I have met several really cool guys through a site, http://www.hotornot.com They have a cool feature that allows you to meet people, & I have met lots of cool & hot guys.

Ever heard of a dessert you can get at the supermarket called PhillySwirl? Well, I bought it, tried it, fell in love with it....so I emailed the owner & creator, Alex Plotkins (http://www.phillyswirl.com). Well, he called me, & has since called me many, many times since. I gave him some commercial ideas (they don't do any advertising right now), all starring ME, & he & his partner might actually use my ideas, (they really liked them), & use ME in them. That would be so awesome. Alex also hooked me up with a guy out here who is producing his own screenplay, Michael Silverback, & Michael is trying to get me hooked up with his commerical agent, which would be a great thing. Today, I got an email from Alex's lovely wife, Stacy, & she is just as cool as he is. She sounds just great. I truly think it's fate that brought them into my life, & it's a true honor. I hope we are able to benefit each other. They are great people.

I also have been talking online with another great guy. His name is Rob, & he lives in Atlanta. He used to live out here, though, & might be moving back. He knows Sam Raimi & the director of "American Pie" 1 & 2.....and he's just a sweety pie...and pretty hot, to boot! But again....another one across the country.

And another one....I just started talking to a great guy named Reed....he is starting non-profit organizations to help disadvantaged kids. He's a hottie, too....but he lives in Ohio. **sigh**

So the only real local prospect is Eric. I don't mean "only" as if he's my last choice, I'd be lucky to land a guy like Eric. He's cool, he's witty, he's smart, he's handsome, he's sweet, etc. And I've known him forever.

I just don't know what I want....and don't know what's in store for me, anywhere....

I am still beyond broke. I am sooooo behind on my bills, it's just plain scary. I don't see any money coming in, so I have no idea when these bills will get paid. I went to "test" that "hostess" job, & it was AWFUL. My friend, Alicia, & I sat there & were looked over like pieces of prime meat. It was a gentleman's club, no nudity, no liquor, but men pay $27 an hour just to spend time with pretty girls....dancing, pool, talking, etc. But I couldn't handle it, I just couldn't. Yes, I am attractive, & yes, I have sexuality, but there's so much MORE to me. And the guys were gross. And the boss was a Middle Eastern man who treated women like they were lower class. He was a horse's ass. Ick. I thought it would be a job I could handle, & that I'd start making some money. Not the case....very disappointing. So now I am back to square one, looking for a job, & having no idea where to look! I have very limited skills....acting, singing, dancing, typing, phones, filing....that's about it. So I don't know what I can do. I will NOT waitress. I would cocktail waitress, but I won't food waitress. I am going to look into the mud-wrestling (seriously) & an escort service....but that's kinda scary. I might end up working on "Friends" every Friday night, but who knows? And I have to work more than that. I could take days in the saloon at Knott's if my bosses would get off their silly asses & make a decision. I am perfectly capable of doing the job, & they can't make up their damn minds. I need something that pays well at LEAST 3 days a week....or preferably, 3 nights a week, leaving days open for auditions. Now is a scary, unsure time for me.

I also need to someone come up with $800 before Oct. 8th, in ADDITION to all the other money I owe. I want/need to start acting classes at the Beverly Hills Playhouse. They have amazing classes there, & the networking possibilities (extremely important in my field) are endless. They teachers are great, & celebrities, writers, directors, producers, casting directors, etc., all take at this school. The first payment is a first/last payment (like rent), because actors can be a flaky bunch. Plus $95 for books, etc. So $800 to start. $300 a month after that. Like I can even come up with THAT! Sheesh...but I NEED to do it! So badly! Won't somebody help me? At least to help myself? I wish some wealthy person would take me under their wing & help me. I don't see that happening.

**Sigh**
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