Pollyanna (alicenwndrln) wrote,

I am so tired today.....

I know, I know....if I am so tired, why am I still awake? I am only staying awake until the news is over, & then I am gone!

I stayed up late last night, thinking I wouldn't get work today. WRONG! My phone rings at 8AM, with a pretty good gig. $10/hr just to file. But I was soooo tired.....yet simply cannot turn down money right now. I got there around 10:15, & while I was tired, it wasn't that bad. Everyone in the office was really nice, I got to dress casually, & since there was constant work to do, time went by really fast. It's when you sit around with nothing to do that just kills you, cause you watch the clock. And even though I was on my feet the whole day, it was like that other job, because I was constantly moving around, & keeping the circulation going, & not bent over a table all day. However, I spent a good deal of the day on my tippy-toes. The file cabinets were at least 5 feet tall, so the top drawer was almost over my head. I had to either stand on my tippy-toes or drag over a stool. That was a bit of a drag. I was told this might be a Thurs/Fri gig, but the lady said the girl I was replacing said she only needed the one day off (I guess she is having a rough period!). So we'll see....either way, I told them I could only work until about 2PM, because I have a show tomorrow night & need some rest, & have to bake brownies, too! I really need the $$$, but I also hope they don't need me. I'd like to sleep late. When I got home today, I took a nap....and woke up sick. I felt earlier today like I might be getting a cold.....or is it ANTHRAX? Anyway, it's been going around, but I have been trying to avoid it, & have been a bad girl by not getting enough sleep. I am a big girl, I know I need 8 + hours a night to avoid getting sick. So I woke up, my eyes were burning, & I had a fever of 100.2. Whenever my temp is 100 or above....that's sick for me. I just hope I don't wake up sicker tomorrow.

So it occurred to me today how much weight I have gained. They told me I could wear nice jeans to work today.....and none of my jeans fit me, save one pair. No others. I couldn't button them. VERY depressing. All day today, I was conscious of having Dunlap Disease.....(my belly done lap over my pants). I was honestly disgusted with myself. The scary thing is...I have no idea what to do about it. I am clueless when it comes to eating right, & the worse part is, I like so few foods, particularly the healthy ones, so I don't know what to eat. I tried to get a referral for a dietician from my health plan....and they DENIED it! My doctor stated that I had extremely high cholesterol....and they denied it. I simply cannot afford to pay for the services of one by myself......and I pay $176 a month for health insurance (& go to the doctor maybe 4-5 times a year, if that). Highway robbery. So I am kinda worried. I can't go on like this....but I can't afford to change it. I have no idea how to "eat right." I can't go to a gym & work out. I have to do something active....I would LOVE to take ice hockey lessons, Krav Maga lessons, martial arts, Pilates....but everything takes money...and I ain't got any! But I know....somehow, I GOTTA lose the weight. I need to lose about 20 pounds, at least. It's the "small" amounts that are the hardest to lose.

I want so badly to get a paid account on here. You get better features, & I simply want to help out the site. It's so worth it. But I don't have the money. I could forego some groceries. I notice you can pay for someone else's account as a gift? Anyone out there wanna give me the $25 paid account as a gift? :-) My birthday is coming up. Hey, it never hurts to ask, right? Ask & ye shall receive, right? Right? Um....hello? Is this thing on? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Anyone? Anyone? anyone?

Next week, I need to make a huge job-finding effort. **sigh** Fun, fun. But if I don't find something, & FAST, I am in even MORE trouble next month....as if I am not in enough now. Rent was due today....and I couldn't pay it. And no, I have no clue what I am going to do.

Well, the news is almost over.....time for glorious sleep....and may my phone remain silent tomorrow morning (& who calls in sick over their period? My friend gets the WORST, painful periods & still goes to work & gets in a character suit & dances all day!).

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    Still no clue what I'm going to do. No clue at all.

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