Pollyanna (alicenwndrln) wrote,

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I continue to be astounded that people who claim to dislike me....who CLAIM to be "done" continue to read my journal anyway. "I am done....but I will continue to read your journal & comment about you in mine." Is that really "done?" What EXACTLY is your definition of "done?"

From Webster's:
done, adj, 1. arrived at or brought to an end

end, n, b(1) a point that marks the extent of something, (2) the point where something ceases to exist

As long as you keep reading my journal, talking about me, ranting about me, lying about me (and, oh trust me, it's all lies, ones you can't even back up)...as long as you keep talking about Jenn, writing about Jenn, doing "veiled" posts & stuff about Jenn, you are NOT "done." YOU ARE OBSESSED...and even worse...in denial. I well admit that *I* am not done. I will be done when I say I am done. I admit to continuing to follow some sad train wreck lives. I admit it straight up. I choose NOT to be done yet. While eventually I will get bored, right now, I am still amused. The difference is, you claim & jump up & down swearing YOU are done...yet keep commenting, keep bitching, keep moaning, keep talking, keep writing....and THEN claim to be done. You can't have it both ways, sweetie. If you are truly "done," then you need to stop reading this, stop writing about me, stop writing about Jenn, stop writing about those who you claim to dislike & be "through" with. Otherwise, dearie, you are NOT "through" nor "done." You continue to obsess. I don't know if it's fun for you, or what. But it's kinda sad. If you are going to continue to obsess, for Goddesses sake, at LEAST be honest about it. Admit you are having fun...admit that making jokes at someone else's expense is FUN for you. Admit you enjoy at least trying to hurt others. Admit you enjoy being a bitch...wait, you have done that. But don't say one thing & then do another. You need to move on, sweetie, since you are so adamant that you have...just do what you have said you've done...instead of it just being words. Every time you continue to mention me & others---and recent occurrences in our lives---you prove that you HAVEN'T let go. You simply can't. As long as I keep reading stuff about me, I know you are still thinking about me (of course, you could do it on a filter so that you & your lackeys get a good laugh without me KNOWING you are still obsessing, but then where would the fun be in me not being able to read it, huh?). I keep writing about you, because believe it or not, I still care about you & all my anger comes from hurt. You did a nasty, nasty, cold-hearted thing....UNPROVOKED. You are going to sit here & maintain that I talked nasty about you behind your back, JUST to make yourself feel better with your decision. So you feel justified. But it never happened. I made the occasional reference to a comment you had made...but I have said NOTHING nasty about you "behind your back"...and anyone who says so is a liar, & should say it to my face. That won't happen, see...cause you're all a bunch of chickenshits, & you know a confrontation would end in YOU being proven wrong. And you can't bear that. Ask your "enemy"....she's heard me defend you more than she cares to....if I was going to talk smack about you, wouldn't it be to her, of all people? But instead, I was always defending you. So you saying I have stabbed you in the back is bullshit. I DARE you to prove that I did what you are accusing me of. I DARE you. You CAN'T do it. Cause it never happened. Period.

The most hilarious accusation was the one where I butted in where I didn't belong, concerning Jenn. Helllloooooo? How many times did you ASK me to intervene there, or at least say you didn't mind me trying? I told you many times that for HER sake AND YOUR sake, I was going to try to get her to drop you. We discussed it MANY times. MANY. You seem to have selective memory here. So then she finally drops you. And you seem to be pleased & happy about it. And then turn around & tell me I meddled where I didn't belong? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That would be like asking someone to do you a favor, & then yelling at them when they do it! GET A GRIP, girl!

It would have been one thing if we had talked, or you sent me an email, whatever...saying, "It's become clear that we have insurmountable miscommunication, & that we can no longer overlook our differences...so let's just agree to calmly & maturely go our separate ways. Thanks for the good times, best of luck to ya...goodbye." That's what I had planned to do (ask your buddy if you don't believe me). Instead, you chose to take it to a cold, immature, PUBLIC level, libeling AND slandering me at the same time. Shocking, really. Well...given the coldness & childishness I had seen in you towards others, I guess I really shouldn't be surprised that it eventually was directed towards me. I would have GLADLY kept all this private. But you were too immature for that. You WANTED to start a flame war (not so shocking, given your name, I guess). You WANTED to cause public drama. You WANTED to publicly embarrass me. LOL....your claims of those who "hit & run" being childish & immature...what a joke. What a joke YOU are. What a hypocrite. Do such a post on me, & then deny any IMs, any phone calls, any emails, any letters....what do you call THAT, dearie, if NOT a "hit & run?" The Childfree hit & runners are awful, immature, childish, rude people...but it's OKAY when YOU do it? The world according to you. And ya'll claim *I* live in my own little world. It's bad when others are hypocrites, & you'll be sure to point that out...but it's acceptable when YOU are a hypocrite. It's awful when your sister does heartless, cold things...but it's acceptable when YOU do them. It's wrong for someone to write about you & defend herself against lies publicly...but it's acceptable for you to lie about them publicly in the first place. Things are very different in your world.

And you accuse me of giving up secrets you have told, & give a veiled threat that you might do the same....ummmm...which secrets would those be? Dearie, nothing that is PUBLICLY posted in a live journal entry is a "secret."

From Webster's:
secret, adj, 1. kept from knowledge or view, 3. revealed only to the initiated

secret, n, 1.a. something kept hidden or unexplained, b. something kept from the knowledge of others or shared only confidentially with a few

Anything you or I or anyone else posts publicly on LJ is NOT a secret. By saying that you think your sister is a cold-hearted bitch...well, that ain't no secret. You post about that in your LJ CONSTANTLY, publicly. There is frequently a new rant about your wonderful family. And they are almost all---if not ALL---public. So how have I revealed any secrets? Any confidences? There is plenty you have told me privately...and I would NEVER reveal any of that. I would hope you would do the same for me...but then, I am pretty open about everything. Anything I say in LJ, on public posts, is pretty much free game. Anything anyone says publicly...free game. Anything you say publicly...free game. And I WILL throw your family in your face when you claim to hate the way they act & then you start acting like them. That's great hypocrisy, as well. It would be as if I made a post frustrated about my sister getting engaged too soon to a guy who didn't have a good job & a couple of "oops" kids...and then turned around & posted that I had gotten engaged to a guy I knew for 6 weeks, who had a bad job & an "ooops" kid or two. THAT is hypocrisy. You claim to hate the things your sister does...but then you can be every bit as cold-hearted as she can. THAT is hypocrisy. And yes, just as YOU will point it out (but mysteriously fail to see it in yourself), I will point it out, too.

You claim to not play games....to be super direct & honest. And yet you are none of those things, & you LOVE to play games. If you had kept this private---where it should have been---none of this would be happening. We could have had a calm discussion on all this. We could have ended this "friendship" calmly, maturely, & privately. YOU chose to make it public. YOU chose to hit & run. That IS playing a game. It's fun for you. You revel in this shit. You are not direct. I can think of many times where I heard from OTHERS that you were upset with me, "behind my back"....and *I* had to approach YOU. That's NOT direct. You also make veiled nasty comments about people. That's not direct, either.

You've said one thing on this subject & that was it? Then what's with this new post? That would make it TWO things. Again, you are far from done, obviously. Just let me keep reminding you that if you had any class & any maturity, this would all be private.

You don't care about me at this point & yet you just wrote that long journal entry. Yeah, that's always a clear sign of not caring. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt, folks.

Buying your friendship off? How, pray tell, did I or could I do that? That's the craziest thing I have ever heard. I bought you one thing in the course of our friendship (that I can remember, anyway). And that was a thank you gift for your previous generosity, since you would not allow me to pay you back, monetarily (despite many offers to...and yet you STILL threw that in my face....how gracious & mature of you). How else did I try to buy your friendship? As if it would be worth it. And again, the "personal life up for grabs" moan...any part of your personal life I bring up is up for grabs by ANYONE reading your PUBLIC posts about your family. I have NOT brought up anything PRIVATELY revealed to me, & will NOT. Period. I expect the same.

Plead my case to those around you? I spoke to ONE person about it. She called ME, to discuss US, & you came up. She said she'd try to speak to you. My basic attitude was, "Why bother?" I have no desire in the world to "save" this so-called "friendship." You have revealed your true self. I would like to get the lies straightened out, but I don't care to be friends with you ever again...I have seen a nasty, ugly side to you that I don't need in my life.

You call one of my new friends a "drama queen"...yet drama surrounds YOU. And in this case, you CAUSED drama, needlessly. Another example of hypocrisy. Gee, there are so many, I can't keep up.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA....cowardly jabs I take when I think no one is looking? That's genuinely rich! First of all, I KNEW you & all your lackeys would be looking. None of you can stay away. Just admit it, would you? I fascinate you. Just confess. You will claim it's in a morbid curiousity way....but regardless, none of you can stay away. That's been proven. I did the post because I wanted to get that stuff off my chest....but I also KNEW you'd read it. And cowardly? Good one, coming from Queen Coward herself. Do a nasty, lying, public post...and then deny any defense from me...any emails, any IMs, any phone calls. Make false accusations without giving me a chance to defend myself...cause you know they are false. And you hate to be proven wrong. Hit & ran, you did. Coward, you are. You want to point fingers at cowards? Turn your pointer finger right back at your own face...or point at yourself in the mirror. Either way, we know who's proven herself to be a coward in this matter. Yes, you had your say....without giving me a chance to have mine. Coward. And you did it publicly, which was totally unnecessary....if you were planning to block my emails anyway, you could have said the same things in private. So....here we are.

Ladylike rants? I don't claim to be a lady. Never have. That's too boring. I don't claim to always be the nicest person in the world. I am VERY nice (too nice, sometimes) until I am pushed to my limits...and then, no, it isn't very pretty. No denials there. I blame it on the Irish side of me.

Nothing I can say to change the fact that I went behind your back & lied to you? How about...that never happened? Please....I am begging you.....tell me the instances where that happened. I ONLY talk to ONE of your friends. She swears she didn't betray any trusts, & I never spoke badly of you to her anyway...how foolish would THAT have been? And I defended you to your "enemy"...so no badmouthing to the one person to which it would have made sense. And nothing mentioned in LJ other than a few comments about comments you have made...and nothing nasty, & nothing secretive. If I was truly going to do something "behind your back" on LJ, I would have filtered out EVERYONE who has any connection to you. But since I obviously didn't, nothing was "behind your back"...and I have never said ONE truly nasty thing about you. The nastiest thing I can remember saying about you was that you shouldn't take out your life frustrations on those who care about you. I can't stand it when people do that. But is that really THAT nasty of a comment? Please. You have said much nastier about me. And I have NEVER lied to you about anything. I DEFY you to prove otherwise. It's simply not possible. Other than little white lies, like ordering you a gift & keeping it a secret, etc. I am talking about things that matter. And where it matters, I have never been anything other than honest with you. Can you HONESTLY say the same?

Dumping those who act like your mother & sister? Are you dumping yourself then? Think about how your mother & sister supposedly act...cold & heartless....well, after your recent actions, you can now look at yourself in the mirror & see them in you. I now have no doubts about that. You shouldn't either...but keep on denying...that is YOUR M.O.

As long as you continue to NOT be "done," I will keep this going. As one of your lackeys said earlier, it takes two people to play a game. I will continue to play it as long as the ball is hit back into my court. I would love to see you REALLY done, instead of claiming to be done when you obviously are not. If you truly dislike me...move on, honey. You are grateful to have me out of your life...then truly have me out. No more jabs at me. No more veiled comments. No more comments at all. No more reading of my journal. Tell your lackeys that you don't want to know when I have spoken/written about you. 100% purge of me. You claim to be released & want to move on....so do it. But do it 100%. Or at least ADMIT this is fun for you.

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  • (no subject)

    On the movie front, I still have no clue if my scenes will end up in the movie. It was a good AND bad experience, & that's hard to explain. Of…

  • (no subject)

    I had a flu shot today. I figured it would be a good idea, since I have virtually no immune system to speak of. Boy, do I feel crummy, though. They…

  • (no subject)

    Still no clue what I'm going to do. No clue at all.