I wanted to get some opinions here.
One was a story about a man who cheated on his wife, & only told her 10 years later. She was oblivious, & probably never would have found out. She had written it to say that it had just destroyed her to find out, even though so much time had past. The hosts of the show said the man just should have kept his mouth shut. After all that time, it had needlessly hurt his wife. That if you choose to have a secret, keep it until the day you die. What WAS the point of telling her after 10 years? Things had been going along happily when he made this confession. The hosts insisted he shouldn't ever have said anything. But isn't confession good for the soul? Maybe it has been weighing on him all those 10 years, & he wanted to finally come clean with his affair & live his life honestly with his wife. Maybe he didn't WANT to keep that secret anymore...he probably still felt guilt. What do you think? After 10 years, keep the affair secret, or confess & cleanse your conscience?
The second story was an interview with a woman who is a mistress, & wrote a book on it. She doesn't exactly advocate having affairs, but definitely doesn't think anything is wrong with them. A woman in the audience stood up & said, "If you love your spouse, or did at one time, why not just get a divorce if you are interested in someone else, instead of cheating?" The lady said that sometimes it's better to keep the marriage intact, especially if there are children involved, & just have "discrete affairs." Divorce is complicated, & is hard on children. Then once the kids are gone, get a divorce then if you still want one. Ummmmm....what's the point of getting married at ALL if you don't plan to be or can't be faithful? Why not just live with people, & date as many people as you want (date meaning fuck)? Certainly, why bring children into a relationship in which you can't be faithful? I am not referring to people who live in known 3-way relationships, or swingers, or that kind of thing. That's a whole other issue. I am referring to people who claim they want to marry & honor their vows & live in monogamy. If you can't keep your dick in your pants or your legs closed outside your marriage, perhaps marriage isn't for you. I mentioned this once before, & someone pointed out that marriage means different things to all people. Fair enough. But who DOESN'T take marriage to mean commitment & monogamy?