May 22nd, 2001

real Alice

GLAAD Awards recap, from a BB post

Ohmigosh! I had SUCH a good time! (This is a long, perhaps boring, recap of my night!)

When I first got there, I was a bit insecure. I am one of those people who does not care for showing up places alone. I feel more confident with a friend by my side.

I get hand my car over to the valet guy, & walk to the doors of the hotel. Immediately, I felt everyone checking me out, & not surprisingly, most of the attention was focused on my shoes. I knew that would happen, & found it amusing. I knew I had chosen wisely.

First order of business.....ladies room. It had been a fairly long drive there. I met an attractive woman in there, who told me I had gorgeous hair. I laughingly informed her that it was a fall, but my real hair was actually mixed in there somewhere, & was almost as long. She was really cute & nice. Good experience so far.

I went downstairs & got my ticket & VIP wristband, & after passing security, made my way downstairs. I bid on a few silent auctions (dance lessons, Krav Maga lessons, & Pilates lessons.....I think I might have won the dance lessons, won the Pilates certificate for sure, & lost the Krav Maga one for sure ), & just walked around looking at everything & everyone. Never have I seen so many handsome men (& women) in tuxes, so well groomed, so well coiffed....and so not interested in women.

Not finding anyone in my party yet, I decided to sit down for a few minutes. These weren't exactly long distance walking shoes. The grandma-like woman sitting down next to me immediately commented on how cute my shoes were. I told her that I felt a bit like a fish out of water, & she said I wasn't walking around like I seemed uncomfortable. I told her I was a good actress. We chatted for a while, & she told me she had been coming to this event for years, & it was always interesting (she was a volunteer). Very nice lady.

Finally, they opened the banquet room. I made my way to my table, sat down (alone), & finally Heather, Garry Marshall's assistant, found me. She told me I was actually at Garry's other table with her & a bunch of other (cool) people. One of them ended up being the girl I saw in the bathroom at the beginning of the night! We walked out to find Garry, who had been going through the press line. We finally spotted him, & he gave me a big hug & told me how pretty I looked. Everyone loved the shoes, & Heather even wanted to take a pic of them. LOL....

Dinner & the awards show started. (Dinner was salad, chicken & veggies, & a great chocolate mousse). It was not unlike any other big time awards show. Lots of celebrities, & I had great seats. Jimmy Smits sat at the table next to me, Leeza Gibbons a few tables over. The cast of "Queer as Folk," including Sharon Gless, were there. Megan Mullally & Sean Hayes from "Will & Grace" (they are hysterical). Ellen De Generes, k d lang, Melissa Etheridge, Tammy Lynn Michaels, Christian Campbell, Dean Cain, the guy who plays Jack on "Dawson's Creek," the guy who plays the gay guy on "Felicity," etc.

"Will & Grace" won for best comedy. "Queer as Folk" won for best drama. k d lang won for best album.

Ellen DeGeneres, whom I love, was hysterical in her presentation. She said, "Us gay people own & the people who came up with the Zone Diet. I am on my own zone diet. I call it my Twilight Zone diet. In it, I am in another dimension, & in that dimension, I am thin." She also said, "Welcome to the GLAAD Awards, the only awards show for homosexuals....unless you count the Emmys, the Tonys, the Academy Awards.....the SAG awards, the TV Guide awards....." She presented the award to "Will & Grace," & when no one came up to accept, she started dancing....very funny. Love her.

Paris Barclay won a special award. He is a director, he won an Emmy for directing "NYPD Blue" (Jimmy Smits presented the award to him). They did a great video clip of him doing a take off of "Billy Elliot." He gave a great speech. He said when he came out, he is sure he lost some jobs, but "I didn't want to work with those motherf*ckers, anyway." He also said something *I*, of course, thought was really cool. Some of the people accepting awards thanked Absolut (vodka) for giving them the courage to get up there (Absolut was one of the sponsors). Paris said, "I would like to say I am blessed for NOT needing Absolut to get up here. I have been sober for 12 years, & when I got sober was when the ball starting rolling in my life & do the math."

Megan Mullally sang a song near the end with some guy from some movie (very informative, isn't it? I just can't recall his name or the name of the movie, but it was one starring Dean Cain). It was AMAZING. Their harmonies were tight, & the song was beautiful. After the song, Sean Hayes came out, & they apologized for not being there earlier to accept their award. Some guy yelled out "SPEECH!", to which Megan replied, "Sorry, our speech was on the teleprompter, & it's gone now." But they got the speech back up, & she says, "Wow, it's going to be REALLY spontaneous now!" So they launched in to it, after she explained the only reason they were going to do it was because it had some good jokes in it.

Megan: We are so honored to be here at the GLAAD awards.

Sean: But, Gays & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.....I am not sure I am against it. I mean, what a couple does in their bedroom is their business. What's so horrible about adding some spice to things?

Megan: Um, are thinking of DEFACATION. This is DEFAMATION, with an "M."

Sean: Oh.....well, I'm against that.

They were a hoot.

One extremely strong speech....from Joan Greg, the leader of GLAAD. She is amazing. Just a tiny thing, she had to stand on an apple crate to reach the mic (I would have to, too). But she was so powerful, I was rapt the entire speech. She blasted Dr. Laura (who got massive booos).....and Eminem. When GLAAD came out against Eminem, she said, "Critics threw the word 'censorship' at us. We threw the word 'responsibility' back at them." She said she doesn't care about the adults or teenagers listening to him....but it's the 8-10 year olds we have to protect. We can't let Eminem get away with justifying the use of the word "faggot" by saying he only means it as the worst possible insult you can say to a man, nor let Dr. Laura get away with calling gays an "abomination" by saying it's on religious grounds. She went on to read one of the THOUSANDS of emails she got after GLAAD came out against Eminem:
(understand that I am paraphrasing everything, since I only heard things once & my memory isn't THAT good!)

"I hope everytime you hear an Eminem song your queer ears bleed.....if my son told me that he was gay, I would beat the shit out of him, & drop him off in an abandoned may be sad, but it's the truth." of many letters just like it....

On a lighter note....Leeza Gibbons & Garry were hysterical. Leeza talked about how there was no award for best talk show host this year, which she won last year, so she would just assume that she gets to keep the "crown." She also said that the Dr. Laura show had approached her to do a lesbian kiss with Dr. Laura, a la the recent "Friends" episode, for a ratings boost...."but then they brought THIS out (she holds out a whip) & started talking about a strap-on, so I politely backed out."

Garry kept everyone in stitches, he is a very funny man. I was proud to be in his "entourage." He warned everyone not to see "Tomcats," in which he plays a small role, & if they do, to have sympathy for him making such a bad decision (to be in the movie).

After the awards, there was the VIP "after party." Having a black wrist band, I got to go. I danced, & took a picture with Melissa Etheridge & Tammy Lynn Michaels (a star on "Popular.") I told Melissa how much I liked her music, & Tammy what a good bitch she was on the show. They were both extremely nice & cool, no attitudes at all. I wonder if they have something going on....cause they seemed pretty hot for each other on the dance floor....and I think they would make a cute couple (but perhaps they are just good friends). We all danced for a while (yes, even in my shoes) & got a huge "gift bag" with lots of cool stuff.

As Garry was trying to find the way out for us (after midnight), a guy walked up & politely asked for a picture with Garry, saying he was a huge fan. We took the pic (Garry is nice to everyone) & the guy was so grateful, it was really sweet, & made me realize how lucky I am.

As I was walking out, some guys said, "Great shoes, honey!" I said, " feet are killing me!" And they replied, "Yeah, but it's worth it! Work it, girl!"

I went up to the valet people & gave them my ticket, & while waiting, started talking to one of the valet guys. He was really cool. And he loved my shoes. LOL....GREAT choice of shoes, I think. They were a huge hit, cause then some more valet people came over & were talking about how great my shoes were.

Then I walked to my car, & the guy said, "This is a great car you have!" Not as great as the Mercedes, BMWs, Porchses (sp), etc, surrounding me.....but at the end of the night....I felt truly blessed & happy. It was a great night full of fabulous people. And I feel so lucky that I got to go.
real Alice


OK....being unemployed is not good.

I have completely obliterated my savings. Gone...not a drop left. No savings. I am as broke as they come. Very depressing.

I am a good $600-700 (at least) short for bills that have to be paid for the first of the month. Add to that, the $54 I have to pay to have Toby's blood work done prior to his surgery. <>

I honestly don't know what I will do. All my friends are broke, so I can't borrow, & I hate doing that anyway. I have a little bit of money coming in next month, but it won't arrive til around the 10th, & that's way too late. I am up shit creek without a paddle, I am afraid.

I am going to get a job soon, at night. But that won't do me any good right now.

I am looking into two different jobs. One is a waitressing job where the waitresses/waiters spontaneously jump on the tables & burst into song. But I really, really, really don't want to waitress. So I am looking into this other one, where I would work in a bar where I wouldn't be NUDE, but scantily clad. I would imagine the tips will be good, & it's easy work, that's for sure (not that I am necessarily looking to not work hard!). I don't mind doing that, as a means to an end. If I am willing to struggle for my dream, I must be willing to do almost anything. I can't have much pride at this point. There is also the option of being a "telephone actress" other words, a 1-900 sex line. I'd rather not do that....I don't think I would be able to keep a straight face, & I don't know if I could sleep at night getting that raunchy with strange, sick men.

But I have to get something at night, to leave days open for auditions, & I don't want to work too late into the night (not a night person), & I need to make decent money. And I have to find something fast....cause this money situation just ain't cutting it (obviously).

I have to get into the mindset that this is what I chose to do, to pursue my dream. I knew it wouldn't be easy. I chose this. I made my bed, & now I have to lie in it, so to speak.

While walking Toby last night before bed, I ate it bigtime. He likes to go outside & run around (he pulls me, & fast!), but he also likes to just laze around inside in the air conditioning. So I said, "Let's go home," & he takes off RUNNING, break neck speed. Well, I was wearing these high heel slides, & tripped over a sprinkler head. I just ATE it, went sprawling. I twisted my ankle badly, & to prevent spraining it, I threw most of my weight onto my hand. While the rest of my body landed on the grass, my right hand happened to land, with most of my weight, on the concrete sidewalk (the rough kind). Besides scraping the skin, I popped a large blood vessel in the palm of my hand, by my wrist. It concerned me, cause I couldn't move my wrist very well, nor my fingers, & the vein was really swollen, sticking through the skin (but not breaking the skin). It was cute, cause Toby jumped on me & started licking me, as if to say, "Sorry! Don't cry!" I put ice on it, & today, I can move everything okay. It hurts if I touch it, & it's bruised very badly. The vein is also sticking out a bit still. I learned my lesson....I never walk him without tennis shoes on. :-)