June 4th, 2001

real Alice

Feeling helpless....

How do I get past this overwhelming feeling of helplessness?

Four adorable cats full of personality....all on "death row"....all up to be euthanized literally any day now.

If I had some money....I would adopt all four, keep them in my spare bedroom, & try to find homes for them....families that maybe could not afford the adoption costs, or who feel how I feel, or just wanted to add a new pet, etc. I would pay to adopt them, & give them away for free.

But alas, I have no money. I cannot save these cats.

One.....part Siamese, fat, cross eyed, sweet, & just precious. Two....just given birth, just wanted to be loved. Very docile & sweet. Three & four....so full of life, only a little over a year old, meowing loudly & sticking their paws out to grab at me.

It would cost me approx. $400 to adopt the latter two.....in adoption costs, Frontline costs, etc.

A mere $400 to save lives. To give loveable animals a loving home. The alternative is death.

It breaks my heart that these sweet cats have to die because (a) everyone insists on adopting kittens, & (b) I am broke. How pathetic is that? These cats finally find someone who will take them....and this one person is pathetically broke. I am ashamed.

How do I get past this feeling of helplessness that is literally torturing me? I keep seeing the faces of these sweet cats. I keep seeing them literally reaching out to me. I am driving myself crazy, or rather, their images are driving me crazy. My sister says I can't save every unwanted dog or cat. I realize that. But with just a little money, I could start with these. And maybe, as I get into a more financially stable place (hopefully soon), I would be able to "save" more, & place them in homes.

How do I cope? How do I stop seeing their sweet, loving, trusting faces?