November 27th, 2001

real Alice

(no subject)

Some of Jay Leno's headlines..."anti-violence leader punches ref"....."cholesterol pills help only if taken"...

As to the first one....even anti-violence people are violent sometimes...or at least have the desire!

So this guy responds to my personal ad....I am sure he thought he was so charming, that he needed few words to impress me. He simply said, "Hey cutey," & didn't include a picture. Those types....I will not even respond to them. What is the point? If I were to respond, it would be something smartassy, like, "Is your 2 word response supposed to make me swoon?" It would be one thing if they thought they were SO handsome in their picture that they wouldn't need many words...or if they said, "I'm not going to bother telling you about myself until we see if I pass the 'looks' test." I have gotten ones like that before, & those are the smart guys. Especially since, in my ad, I admit that I am into looks. I also had this one guy respond twice in 2-3 days....AFTER I turned him down the 1st time. I have had numerous guys respond to me 2-3 times, but usually with months in between. I don't even honestly understand how you forget someone's picture & profile (I haven't changed it), how you forget that you responded before, AFTER some months have gone by. But we are talking about days here. I swear, I got his first response either yesterday or the day before. Took a look at his hometown page & read all about him, viewed his pic....NOT remotely my type. So I very politely let him know I was not interested, & that I wished him all the best. I am probably one of VERY few people who actually writes to people to turn them down. Most people ignore those they are not interested in. My personal philosophy is that if a guy took the time to read my ad (which actually rarely happens, so I should say "took the time to look at my picture") & respond to me, I should at least have the decency to acknowledge that I received the email, & politely let him know I am not interested. I am always as nice as I can be. I usually say something like, "-----(I always include their name if THEY include it), thank you so much for responding to my ad. I truly appreciate you taking the time to do so. However, as you really don't appear to be my type, I am, unfortunately, not interested. Some woman is going to be very lucky, however! :-) I wish you all the best! Take care!" I actually have a lot of guys respond back to say, "Thanks so much for responding back, most girls wouldn't do that. Good luck to you, too." But if you don't include a pic & all you say is "hey cutey," I ain't responding. A personal pet peeve of mine is to be called by a pet name from someone I don't even know. A complete stranger calling me "cutey," "honey," "sweetie," "beautiful," etc...that bugs me. Those are terms of endearment, & you cannot possible have feelings for me if you don't know me. So don't call me pet names.

Anyway, I just had to vent about that. Some people are truly clueless.

Looks like I am not going to make rent....again. I HAVE to pay my car insurance, my rent, & my health insurance at the first (the car insurance is actually due the 28th), & those 3 things total $1130, & I have approx. $30 to my name. You do the math. How am I coming up with $1100 by the first? Sheesh! I mean, I will get about $300 or so (give or take a few $$) on Friday, but that still leaves me quite short (no pun intended). So I was in a bad mood today. I always get in a bad mood when I am concerned about money. This sucks. I am SO tired of worrying about money. This year has given me wrinkles & gray-hair (ok, kidding about the gray hair). This is going to be a hard month for me. I have to get Xmas gifts for people, even though they won't be expensive ones. I have to get Xmas cards to mail out, it's a tradition (I get the cheapest ones I can). And the postage for those. I am just getting so screwed at Knott's. 3 hour shifts per day...and at a time where I can't do any other work that day. That sucks. So on top of being terribly worried about rent THIS month, I am ALREADY worried about rent for January...because I take that week off to go home, & I won't be making ANY money that week. I think I might have 2-3 days vacation pay, but that's it. And money I make in December needs to go to pay bills that aren't getting paid THIS month, so I don't get utilities shut off, so that will leave nothing for the 1st of January. And I need kitty litter & dog/cat food, & groceries for me....and have nothing. No $$$. Life is sucking for me right now, financially speaking.

Folks...friends...pray for me...do spells for me, make wishes for me, keep me in your thoughts, send me positive vibes...whatever. I need it right now. The Xmas season is EXTREMELY difficult for me, since my mother died at Xmas (as we all know). It's a sad season for me, & with these money worries on top of everything else, it's truly a struggle for me. I honestly don't know how I am going to make it through this next couple of months...starting with being $1100 short for 1st of the month MUST PAY expenses, moving into paying utility bills & food & gas bills (my truck is a GAS GUZZLER), & then moving into December with no money for Xmas gifts, & no money for rent in January!!!! **Sigh**

Same old sob story....booooooooooring. I feel like a broken record. I'm broke. I'm broke. I'm broke. I'm broke. I'm broke. I'm broke. I'm broke.

4 days to my birthday....you may send checks, cash, & Best Buy gift cards to my house! ;-
  • Current Music
    "Tonight Show"
real Alice

(no subject)

So....

I am a moderator at Hot or Not now. This should be loads of fun. When people submit their pics and/or profiles to be rated, their pics/profiles have to get approved. The site strives to stay clean & fun. No lewd pics or talk, no porno site links, no info telling people how to find you. A pic/profile doesn't just go through one moderator, each one goes through several, so no one moderator has complete say on one. Each moderator has an "accuracy rating." Mine is around 91% right now, but it should really be higher. I thought some of the other moderators were wrong on some approvals. For instance....you have to check the accuracy of the pic/profile. One said, "This picture is supposed to be a female," & it was BLATANTLY obvious that it was a male. Trust me on that. So I clicked on "decline." It said that I voted "decline," but that 6 other moderators had voted "approve." HUH??? So that made my rating go down. Perhaps those 6 moderators just looked at the profile & pic itself, & didn't notice that it said "female" (never mind the fact that, just to make it even easier, the borders are color-coded....blue for boys, pink for girls). In another, the guy's pic was technically okay, but there was a nudie poster of a woman on the wall behind him. That is attention to detail that most people probably wouldn't notice. But I did, so I was in the minority on that one, too. Another included a MSN Messenger chat name in code, so I declined it (there is NO reference to chat names or email addys allowed), & 3-4 other moderators had approved it. So I was in the minority on that one, too. So my "accuracy rating" went down. Hmmm....seems like it should go up. Whatever. It should be interesting, just to see all the pics---good & bad---that people submit, & read all the profiles.

Forgiven is a virtue....and one I don't have in certain instances. I was just listening to a news report on how a guy---minding his own business driving home at night---was killed after a girl (who was drunk) slammed into him while drag racing. I was---I admit---shocked to hear it was a GIRL drag racing. How very unfeminine. And the mother of the dead guy (a young man) told the reporter, "I want the little girl who killed my son to know that I forgive her." HUH?!?!?!? How do you DO that? Heck, my mother was a good Christian woman, & if someone had killed me by doing something totally reckless, she would have hunted that person down & killed them herself, much less not forgive that person. How can you forgive someone for killing your child by doing something reckless & stupid? It's one thing if you kill someone in a car accident that was genuinely an accident....wet road conditions, etc. But to have been drunk AND drag racing????? How irresponsible!!! And the mother forgives her? Wow....she's a much better person than I. I admire it....but I can't understand it.

So my big birthday is coming up on Saturday....and I suspect very few people are going to show up for my party. I did hear back from a lot of people saying they couldn't come, so at LEAST they DID RSVP, & didn't just not show up & not respond at all. I suspect it will be: Erin & Shawn, Amy & Rashad, Julie & Anthony, Maranda, Cheri, Mary, & Alicia....all friends from work & their boyfriends. Cheri is coming late after work as is Mary. Unbelievably, (lucky me!) my friend Karinn is driving out from Arizona JUST for my party! I can't believe my luck! She is bringing her husband, Dale, & maybe her doggie, Jesse. I can't wait to see them. I don't get to see them very often. And Karinn let me know that in January, she's going to fly out by herself to spend a few days with me, doing some "work"....soul/spiritual stuff. I need all the help I can get. So anyway....I was telling her how broke I am, how I can't afford anything for this party, but had to do SOMETHING, & she & Dale are going to bake cakes for my party! She said she'd make plenty for 20 people...and that many won't even come! She said she'd make any kind of cake I wanted. I know money is tight for them, too, & I know how busy she is, so I told her not to make me cakes if it will hurt them financially or infringe on her busy schedule, & she assured me that they actually LOVE to bake cakes, so basically, I'd be doing THEM a favor. Having Karinn with me for my b'day is one of the best presents I could get. I guess I need to adjust my way of thinking. I should appreciate that my closest, GOOD friends will be there for my birthday, & it should be quality of friends, not QUANTITY that I am concerned with. That doesn't mean that certain good, true friends become crappy friends if they have legitimate reasons why they can't be there (many people already have plans....like Renee & Gary will be performing out of town this weekend). But I should be happy with what friends DO come, & not judge my worth by how MANY people show. We are going Cosmic Bowling, & it should be loads of fun. Karinn & Dale are coming out probably Thursday night, & I can't wait. Of course...that means I have to clean! **Sigh** :-)

I wish that my friends from the internet had been able to fly out...I wish I had the money to fly them out. Some day, I will....& I'll do it.

I have made a new friend at Knott's, & I really like her. Her name is Jennifer, she goes by Jen. She is one of the carolers that comes in for the Xmas season.
She's really cool, gorgeous, & my age...she's 32. She just got divorced, so we are going to go out. We both have a crush on this HOT guy at work, another caroler, David. He's engaged, though. :-( Jen is a perfume vendor....hello? Is she not a perfect friend for me? I love perfume...she can sell it to me at a 70% discount! Hello? I think I am in love. However, right now, she is living in Temecula....but I think she'll be moving to OC soon.

I am searching all over for a Xmas carol CD that contains an intricate VOCAL version of "Carol of the Bells." So far, I am not having any luck. It's really easy to find instrumental versions of it. I have a Deana Carter version, but it's really simple.
Anyone know where I can get one or have a CD of it I can borrow? :-)

I need to write my grandmother tomorrow. She wants a list of foods I want while visiting at Xmas, & a list of a "few little things" I want for Xmas.

I had this amazing daydream today. I was listening to one of my fave Xmas CDs....Amy Grant's "Home for Xmas." My fave songs off that CD are "Grown Up Xmas List" & "Breath of Heaven." I had this daydream of me being famous, & going to Alabama for Xmas. My grandmother likes to go to this Xmas Eve ceremony at her church (she has dragged me a few times). I dreamt I planned a surprise for my grandmother. I arranged in advance with the church's minister to be a part of the Xmas Eve ceremony. The minister talked about Mary being with child, carrying Jesus. I came forward & sang "Breath of Heaven." My grandmother was completely shocked & beyond proud. It took her a while to realize it was me. I think my aunt & uncle probably had to tell her. And then, at the end of the service, I sang "Grown Up Xmas List." Everyone was surprised to see me there, being the up-&-coming celebrity I am. I think my grandmother was playfully angry with me for not telling her, cause if she had known, she would have made all her friends come (she likes to brag & show me off). And then I sang the Star Spangled Banner at the Bulls hockey game. Afterwards, I threw a party for the hockey team...and there were some really cute hockey players. :-) In other words...it was a pretty cool daydream. And not that far-fetched either.

If I don't come up with $500 or more by Friday, I am in trouble! And since I don't see that happening...I guess I am in trouble! :-(

There's a guy who's been emailing me. His name is John. He is handsome, financially secure, intelligent, has lots in common with me, seems to really be interested, and......HAS TWO YOUNG SONS! Yikes! Why me? I flat-out told him that I don't play a tuneful second fiddle...and he said he appreciated my honesty, & would like the chance just to get to know me anyway. I think that's risky. What if I really like the guy? I know I am getting way ahead of myself, but WHAT IF? That would be really bad news. I don't like to share....and I don't enjoy being around kids...and he is VERY devoted to his kids.
  • Current Music
    "Buffy"
real Alice

(no subject)

James Marsden.....James Marsters.

Two HOT guys.....the former on "Ally McBeal," the latter on "Buffy." Both so, so very hot. With similar names. Odd coincidence....but they are very different. Both inspire me to drool.
  • Current Music
    "Buffy"