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Where am I going & why am I in this basket???
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Thursday, December 6th, 2001

Time Event
Can anyone explain the date in this email I received?

"Greetings from LiveJournal!

First off, I wanted to thank you for being a member. I also wanted to let you know that your membership expires on 1999-11-02."

My membership expires on November 2nd, 1999? Or February 11th, 1999? What in the heck? And why am I receiving this notice to renew at all? My membership was paid by an anonymous donor (thank you again!), & I assume it was for a year. That couldn't have been more than 3 months ago or so. Maybe it was just for the 2 month plan. Mr/Ms. Anonymous, can you tell me?

Regardless....I still can't decipher that date. I emailed "Mark Kraft" to see if he could clarify.

Did you hear that sigh of relief???? The huge one I just breathed? I just got off the phone with my dad. He is paying my entire rent ($800) for this month (which, gee, is only already a week late). He is express mailing my landlords a check today. It should definitely reach them tomorrow, & tomorrow was the day my landlord was going to deposit my check (which would have bounced). Praise God. Hallalujah. Can I get an "AMEN?" AMEN!!!!!! Now....I have to pay him back. I told him I would pay him back----with interest---by December 2002. So I have a while. If that PhillySwirl guy was serious, I should be doing some commercials around April/May, so I should be able to pay EVERYONE back by summer. The potential is certainly there. I believe in myself, anyway. I emailed my dad to present the possibility of him lending me $500 for this month. We both know I have to get some sort of job in January, but I am stuck for December. I wouldn't be able to get a job quick enough to catch up on bills, plus who would hire me to work 1-2 weeks before I go out of town for a week? No one. I told him I needed it by tomorrow or I couldn't pay my rent, so could he Western Union it. He just called & said, "See, the problem is, you waiting til the last fucking minute to say you need money." He's funny. I love that I can cuss to my dad, & vice versa. We just have that kind of relationship (I had it with my mother, too, although she didn't cuss NEARLY as much...usually just playfully with me.....I'd say (playfully), "Fuck you, bitch," & she'd flip me off & say, "No, fuck you, bitch," in her little Southern accent. Too funny!). So he's totally bailing me out this month, but next month, I am truly on my own. What would be IDEAL is if he would agree to pay at least half my rent for a pre-determined time (say, 6 months), & since he doesn't trust me to not spend it on crap, he could mail the check directly to my landlords, like he used to do when I was 18. But I doubt he will do that. He wants to help me help myself....not just help me. Make sense?

So here's what he's doing now.....it's interesting, but it has my emotions in swirl.

He has presented me with the idea of getting a mobile home & living in a mobile home park. My assumption is that he would pay for it (the mobile home), & then I would pay the space rental & all my other bills.

Here's my problem with that. I have this nagging, snobby feeling that I am too good for a trailer park. When I think "trailer park," I think all kinds of nasty images of "white trash," "trailer trash," etc. But the other side of me knows that not every trailer park is trashy, & some very nice, classy people live in trailer parks. I just talked to my friend, Erin, who's a bigger snob that I am, & she thinks it's a good idea. Her boyfriend's grandparents live in a very nice park. My friend, Dean, lives in a really nice on in Fullerton. The problem is, I don't know how many "nice" ones I am going to find in LA County. I had one manager call me today, & he doesn't even have any available. He said one "might" be coming available soon, & gave me the guy's number. This park is in my same city, & it's truly "hit or miss" in this city, as far as niceness. It would be nice to have a home that I own, as oppose to rent, & just have to pay the space rental. Of course, with ownership, comes more responsibility. If the roof leaks, you have to pay to fix it. Plumbing problems, everything. You pay to fix them. But that's thinking too far ahead. My dad is also interested in looking at HUD homes. They are cheap, but sometimes need work. I found a 3 bedroom HUD house for sale for $60K. But it's probably in a bad area, & in sore need of work.

Also....the thought of packing up all my shit AGAIN & moving AGAIN makes me want to cry. Having DSL set up again....new phone number...new bills....and leaving my awesome neighbor....none of that appeals to me. Also, I will NOT move into a trailer park where there are lots of kids. If the place has a playground, I am running for my life. I moved to this house to get away from the sounds of children playing. And I don't like the thought of losing my backyard, as small as it is. Maybe I would have a small backyard area that I could enclose, so I could set up my jacuzzi. That would be nice. I will be finding a new home for Toby, so finding a place with a yard big enough to house a dog is not a concern.

Anyway....obviously....a lot of different thoughts & emotions are swirling through my head....I just wish that things would happen in my career soon, so that I could buy a nice 3BD home of my own, with a yard, & everything, in a nice area, etc. Or even better....enough to build my "dream home!"


Hey, a girl can dream.......

But I truly have the greatest dad in the world. He is really trying to help me.

Current Mood: contemplative

Anyone have advice on how to find some good mobile home parks? I tried my yellow pages, & the ones that are in it aren't really in the area I want to be in. I have had TWO people tell me that they live in really nice mobile home parks in Orange County....SURELY there are some nice ones in LA County?!?!?!?!? There HAS to be. Monday, I am going to go look at a couple, even if they don't have homes for sale, just to get an idea what's out there. I'd also like to go to a mobile home dealer, to check them out. I am quite sure we wouldn't get a new one, but I'd still like to look at them.

I also ordered a book of HUD houses available. I will probably go through it & then discuss any I find with my dad.

I would, of course, prefer a house to a mobile home, but beggars can't be choosers. I just want a mobile home with a yard big enough to have my jacuzzi & a swing.

That is something going through my mind. What a MAJOR pain in the ass to even THINK of having to drain & move the jacuzzi....and then thinking about having the drain & move my waterbed....EEEIIIYIIIIYIII! I don't even want to think about it. There is nothing I hate more than moving. I wouldn't mind the boxes of crap so much....as much as all the huge, pain in the ass things to move. Maybe I could hire someone to move me this time, & let THEM deal with the headaches. I hate subjecting my friends to moving all my shit again. I am NOT an easy move. My friend, Erin, said, "Does this mean we'd have to pack you up again?"
:-) But I am jumping the gun.

The thought of owning my own place thrills me. Owning my own mobile home a little less, but it's still pretty exciting. It's cheating a bit, because I am not paying for it, but I imagine I will in some way. My dad might tell me that this is coming out of his life insurance policy, so I won't get any money when he dies. That's fine. I'd rather use the money now when I need it. I find it hard to believe that my dad would just out-right buy me a $50-60K house. No way. And boy....would my sister shit bricks.

I am so relieved about my rent. My landlord is such a smartass (but at least he's cool). I called him to tell him that my dad's check should reach him by 3PM tomorrow, & to rip up my check. He says, "What? You want me to cash both yours AND your dad's check? And Merry Xmas?" HAHAHA What a funny guy! I feel like my shoulders are $800 lighter. For this month. I will give myself a 2 week or so break...and then I will start worrying about January. **Sigh**

So I got a call from my ex, John, in Alabama. I can almost guarantee that we will hook up....unless there's no chemistry anymore. Geez...it's been so damn long, who knows????? I really don't care. I wouldn't mind gettin' a little holiday nookie-nook, but if not...that's just dandy, too! :-) I have to wonder why I get so much action in Alabama....and can't get any in Cali. Hmmmm....

I can't find where I put the Best Buy gift card from Garry. :-( I'm totally bummed. It MUST be in my house somewhere. I cleaned up for Karinn/Dale & my dad to visit, I must have quickly stashed it somewhere.

If you like Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies, & are bummed that you only get them once a year.....you MUST try the Keebler Holiday Merry Mint Patties. They are BETTER than Thin Mint's, IMO, because they use a vanilla cookie instead of chocolate.

I am burning some Xmas CDs that are just AMAZING. They are really so good. I might just have to listen to them year-round. My friends want me to burn ones for them. I will have around 8 volumes of "modern" Xmas tunes (meaning, by modern artists, like Amy Grant, Jewel, Christina Aguliera, 'N Sync, Brian Setzer Orchestra, etc., & then I will have a few with classic tunes (ie, Bing Crosby, Julie Andrews, Elvis, etc.). I am having WAY too much fun with my CD burner. That's one of the most handy, fun, useful things I have ever bought.

Current Mood: relieved
Grown-Up Christmas List
Do you remember me
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you with childhood fantasies

Well I'm all grown-up now
And still need help somehow
I'm not a child but my heart still can dream

So here's my lifelong wish
My grown-up Christmas list
Not for myself but for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list

As children we believed
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely wrapped beneath our tree

Well Heaven surely knows
That packages & bows
Can never heal a hurting human soul

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list

What is this illusion called
The innocence of youth
Maybe only in our blind belief
Can we ever find the truth

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list

This is my only lifelong wish
This is my grown-up Christmas list

---David Foster/Linda Thompson Jenner
addition verse by Amy Grant

Current Mood: touched

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