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Where am I going & why am I in this basket???
 
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Sunday, December 30th, 2001

Time Event
9:21p
My sister is still trying to convince me to pursue stand up comedy. I know I am funny, but I don't know about that. I don't take rejection well, & if the crowd didn't think I was funny....that would be bad for my self-esteem. Yes, I am a GREAT joke teller, but you can't really stand up there & just tell jokes. You really have to stand up there & tell funny stories. I know my stories about my grandmother are funny to my family & close friends, but I doubt they would be that funny to complete strangers. I want to do comedy in film & television...but not particularly stand-up. I think it would be extremely difficult.

My sister said this: "You have great timing, great recall of jokes, and are just hilarious. You are such a bundle of contradictions that it is naturally funny--ex: anti-smoke, anti-drink, anti-drug, pro-choice, anti-welfare, the mouth of a sailor, liberal social philosophies, conservative philosophies, etc."

I guess she's right. I am kinda a contradiction. I am fairly conservative in my political views...yet I am extremely open-minded when it comes to sexual things...and I tell really raunchy jokes & cuss (but not when I shouldn't!!). I am very complex, that much is true. But hey, like I told a friend of mine, it makes me interesting. :-) I am NEVER accused of being boring, that's for sure!

Yes....still can't get John off my mind. Don't know what's going on. Don't know what I feel. Dont' know what to do. There really isn't anything I CAN do. I suspect that if I told him what I was feeling, it would totally scare him off. I am trying to find out more about him, get to know him better....maybe I will find things that are not compatible with me. Who knows? I have worries about him coming here in May....but May is 4 friggin' months away! A LOT can happen in 4 months. April/May is when I would be doing those Philly Swirl commericals, if that happens, so heck, I could be in another part of the country during May. My career could be taking off. I could meet someone between now & May. John could meet someone between now & May. He may decide not to come out. Who knows? I certainly don't know. So there's no sense in worrying about what will happen when he comes out, since he may not, or things may be totally different. But of course, I will worry, anyway....try as hard as I might not to. But at least I will make a concerted effort to NOT worry about it as much as I normally would. When April comes along, & he is still planning the trip out here, THEN I will start to really worry! :-)

I just ate some delicious pecan-less divinity from Priester's Pecans, from Fort Deposit, AL. YUM! Yes, yes, I know I am on the Slim-fast diet, but I bought this stuff while in AL, & once it's gone, it's gone. I can't get anymore. It wasn't cheap, & it's delicious, so I am not going to let it go to waste. I am doing pretty good on the diet, otherwise, so things could be worse. This shit is too good to throw away.

Raining, raining, raining....ICK! I don't like it. It's miserable to be out in, miserable to drive in....and my job gets canceled whenever it rains...so I lose money. We can't perform in the rain, so we get sent home. Saturday, I got 4 1/2 hours of pay, instead of the scheduled 7. :-( But there's nothing I can do about it. And poor Toby. He has a doghouse, but the rain still comes into it, & he's stuck out there in the rain while I am at work. I really need to find a home for him. I think I will go this week & put a flyer up at Petco. I just want to find him a GOOD home.

Speaking of work......I am SO burned out at Knott's. I do not enjoy the job anymore. My supervisor is a dummy. The shows are old & boring. My character barely has anything to do in them, other than be a glorified decoration. I am tired of dealing with the idiotic public. People act like such embarrassments to society. Two women almost came to blows the other day over meeting Charlie Brown! There are really some classless people out there. And I am just tired of it. I no longer feel appreciated. The depressing thing is, I can't give up this job until I have something better to replace it. I hope to work 3-5 days doing extra/stand-in work in the New Year, so maybe I would start working enough that I wouldn't have to stay at Knott's. That would be so awesome. And if I could start doing commercials in the spring....sweeeeeeet.

Current Mood: hopeful
9:56p


My Spirit Animal is the Cat!


Cycle of Power: Nighttime

Aspects: Mystery, Magick, Independence
Click here
to discover your spirit animal!



This test made by Celtic_Shamanes

9:59p
Incidentally, my rankings were:
#1 cat
#2 raven
#3 wolf
#4 dragon
#5 elk
10:00p

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