February 1st, 2002

real Alice

(no subject)

OK...so color me confused. I called/emailed Daniel to ask him to go to the Magic Castle with me & my friends on Saturday.....I did both, because I needed to know before 5, & since he was working, I wasn't sure if he'd check his email before 5. Surprisingly, I have yet to hear back from him.

Hmmm....I find that odd. He certainly expressed his interest. I mean, HE wrapped his arm around my arm & held MY hand....not the other way around. HE cuddled up to me, laid his head on my shoulder....not the other way around. There are better ways to inform someone that you are NOT interested, if indeed you are not. I honestly have no idea...but I find it odd.
Men are odd. Very odd. I just don't see the drawback in (a) admitting you are interested, & (b) doing so right away. If someone is going to run away in fear because you display interest right away, they are either not interested or scared of a relationship, period. I dream of a man who will be direct & honest...and not be a pussy when it comes to admitting his feelings...whatever they may be.

I will see what happens tomorrow. If I don't hear from him via phone or email by tomorrow, I will probably have to write him off. Does that seem too soon? Perhaps. But I have zero patience, & zero interest in playing mind games. Even Eric....after being enthusiastically interested the night we met, & emailing me several times after that, his interest seems to have dwindled, too. Go figure. And Freiler....well, I never hear nor expect to hear back from him.

THIS is what I dislike about dating.

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real Alice

(no subject)

Bring it on!!!!

I expect rillifane, anticrist, lapintada, towanda, flameprincess, kali_devi, shebear, & everyone else on my friend's list to score high! Heh-heh....
real Alice

An easier quiz

Ok....if you pay attention to my journal, then these should be much easier...some are too easy, I think. These are all things I have talked about in my journal...PLEASE do not cheat, by looking in past journal entries or looking things up on the internet. Just go by memory....

How well do you know me, Part 2
real Alice


Life drives me truly nuts sometimes. I should have known...a good week of positives, it had to be followed by some negative crap....things were going too well.

I went to see a mobile home for sale today. I really liked the owner, a cute little old man named Curtis. He was a good man. 72, grandfatherly. His wife died of cancer about a year ago, so he's moving to GA to be with his son. He gave me some wigs that he had bought for his wife after chemo, that she had never worn. They are not exactly "stylish" but he was so sweet to offer them, I didn't have the heart to not take them. It's a 30 year old house, but it's in remarkably good shape. I couldn't believe it was that old. The living room was quite large, & it had a nice sized den off the living room, with a breakfast nook to the kitchen. Kitchen was on the small size, but I don't cook much. If I lived there, I would probably bring in my stove/oven, & take out the stove & oven that's there, since mine is new, & his oven doesn't work well (separate stovetop & oven). What I would do is take out the stovetop unit, put my stove/oven there, & rip out his oven & dishwasher (I always wash dishes by hand). Theoretically, you would want to add a cabinet & counter space there, but that's costly. I would probably just rip that stuff out & put my microwave stand there...it has a counter for my microwave, 2 cabinets, & a drawer, & would fit great there (there is not a lot of counter space for a microwave). It also definitely could use some new carpet...it's sun faded, & basically orange (ICK!). But my dad said carpeting is expensive, so I suppose I could live without that...or do what my dad suggests & put new carpeting in the den & living room & hall, but leave the ugly stuff in the bedrooms, since less people see the bedrooms. I'd have to get a futon for the 2nd bedroom (I would use the den as my office), & would use it for my dressers & stuff. The house has 2 small sheds in the yard. VERY small yard, in fact, calling it a yard is stretching it. There would be enough space for my jacuzzi, & maybe a lounge chair, but that's it. Right now, there is no fencing at all, separating the properties, & I would definitely want to put up privacy fencing, especially because of the jacuzzi. But my dad says that's expensive. Anyone know? I was thinking a tall wooden fence, but I might could get away with chain link & then put some kind of covering on the inside, so you can't see through it. I dunno. But I would hate to not have some kind of separation. Ick. I am big on privacy.
The bathrooms were very clean. Horribly tacky wallpaper in the guest bathroom, but the toilet & tub were spotless. The master bath was very large, with a tub AND a shower. It also has a phone jack. Quite sizable. The master bedroom was about the same size as my room now, only a little wider. It had a large walk-in closet. Wall-to-wall closet in the guest room. It was quite small, about the same size as my 2nd bedroom now. A carport large enough for 2 cars head to tail, MAYBE 3. The porch was quite large, & covered. I could easily fit a porch swing, & maybe a table & chairs & small grill. He said he might leave the dining room table if I wanted it, cause they only used it twice in 30 years, & I don't have one. He also offered to leave a couple other pieces of furniture. He's leaving the washer/dryer & fridge, which is a bit of a pain. I have a brand new washer, so I wouldn't keep his. As far as the dryer, I don't know. The one I have here works great, so if it's better than his, I'd probably want to keep mine. And my fridge is only 4 years old or so, considerably newer than his.

This house was considerbly cheap. He doesn't need the money, & he's very anxious to get to GA, so he is only asking $29K. He said he thought the real estate agent would accept $20K. For a house? That's crazy!
He has bought a U-haul, & it's already most packed & he's ready to get the heck out of dodge. He likes all his neighbors, there aren't any young kids around his house. The complex has a couple of pools & a rec room. Guest parking would be a pain if I had company, particularly overnight, since there is only about 6 spots for guests, & those have a 2 hour limit.
My dad said I can't worry about stuff like that. The complex is HUGE, literally wall-to-wall mobile homes. That's definitely a drawback....outside your door, 5 feet to your left is a home....5 feet to your right is a home....15 feet across the "street" are more homes. It's got a bit of a claustophobic feel. I was there around 2-2:30, & it was dead quiet, which was nice.

What's so nice about my place now is privacy. I am connected by one wall to my awesome neighbor Nick (whom I'd hate to leave), but he's quiet as a mouse. The next closest neighbor is on the other side of my driveway. Not that I typically play music loud or anything, but I certainly wouldn't have as much privacy as far as noise. If I have giggling girlfriends over, we'd have to be a lot more quiet. Here, in my jacuzzi, we can make as much loud noise as we want. My backyard is the freeway barrier wall, & no other neighbors close enough to hear anything. We can be as loud & as obnoxious as we want. In this park, we'd have to keep it to a dull roar, because the other houses are soooo close. That sucks (not that I used the jacuzzi that often, so I guess that shouldn't really be a concern). Also...the thought of moving my waterbed....draining it (as if I'd even know how), taking it apart (as if I'd know how), putting it back together (as if I'd know how), & refilling it....aiiiyiiiyiii. I don't even want to think about that. Of course, being the packrat I am, I don't want to think about having to pack up & move, at all. Getting boxes, packing up, enlisting friends to move, renting a U-haul. YUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKK! What a horrible thought.

The space rental is $540/mo. That's only $260 less than what I pay right now, but it would also be MINE, as opposed to throwing money down the drain every month....$800/mo for something that will never be mine. Of course, if anything goes wrong on the house, the repair bill comes out of MY pocket, as opposed to calling my landlord & having them pay to fix it. That's a bummer...but part of owning a house, I guess.

I put so much into this house. I installed air conditioners in both bedrooms (that wasn't cheap....the A/Cs themselves were almost $300 each, plus paying the handyman to install them). I installed electricity & outside lights in the backyard, to the tune of almost $500. I bought a stove. I bought a washer. I had blinds custom made for the living room windows (there weren't any blinds or curtains)...obviously I will leave the A/Cs & the blinds. I've made a lot of improvements here. I like my landlords (they are patient if my rent is a week late). I LOVE my neighbor, Nick. I like my quiet, pretty cul-de-sac. I like how close I am to the freeway. I like how close I am to Burbank Media Center. I love how close I am to the major studios.
This mobile home park is 15 more miles past where I am....15 more minutes, with NO traffic (& how often does THAT happen?). My friends recently moved out there, & they seem to like it, & Renee works for Warner Bros. (which is near me). She doesn't seem to mind the extra distance to own her home.

There are so many pros & cons, that honestly, my head is spinning.

I am going to see another mobile home on Monday. This one is a LOT more money ($81K), but is a lot newer (4 years old...but Curtis was saying the older ones are built a lot more sturdy). The lot rent is higher, by $60. But the park looks nicer...the homes don't look so close together. And this house has 4BD, 2BA, as opposed to 2BD. Not that I NEED 4 BD. The real estate lady might show me a couple other places, too.


And then the male front. I should have known that week of dating went way too well. I should have known I wasn't ready for anything serious.

Here's what I will never understand....WHY do men play mind games? WHY? Why can't they be upfront & honest with their feelings? WHY? I have some great examples.

Went out with John last Wednesday. He asked me if we were going to see each other again. I said, "I don't know, do you want to?" And he said, "I asked you first." So I said I thought that would be nice, & he said he agreed. Later, HE kissed ME. After we kissed for a while, HIM instigating it, he asked me what my schedule was like the following week, because he'd really like to get to know me better, see me again. I told him what my availability was like, & he told me to call or email him when I wanted to get together, because he "definitely" wanted to get together again.

I heard back from him BRIEFLY once....and not a peep since.

Why would you kiss someone you weren't interested in? I fully understand a guy trying to get sex when he doesn't care to see the girl again, but kissing? It's not as if he ruled me out cause I was a bad kisser, because he kissed me again & again & again, etc. Why would he ask me if I wanted to see him again, if he didn't want to see me? Isn't that a risky question? Why would he repeatedly tell me how much he wanted to see me again? It wasn't like a blow-off, "Call me," or "I'll call you." He was clearly expressing interest. Why do that, if it's not genuine? Why not just say, "I'll call you," & then never call? But even that bugs me....what's wrong with being upfront, & saying, "I enjoyed meeting you, but I didn't feel any attraction, so I don't think this is going to work out?" What's wrong with that? These are men, they don't have balls? Or if they are THAT chickenshit, just email me saying the same thing....then you don't have to see my face.
But why express interest if you are not interested? That makes NO sense.

Then take Lyndy (who, for the record, I was NOT remotely interested in). We were only together for 30 minutes or so. But he kept flirting with me. For instance, when I blotted my lipstick on a napkin, he immediately picked up the napkin & touched it to his cheek, as if to transfer the kiss to his cheek. Since he owns an insurance company, & he kept saying how lucky it was that I met him. When he left to meet his friends at the Kings game, he said, "Next time I get tickets, I'll take you!" Never heard from him again.

Eric. We've known each other for 13 years. We slept together Saturday night. Other than a brief email telling me he'd be really busy over the next few weeks, I haven't heard from him, either. And I called him....and he returned the call via email. Now, to be fair, he was just as bad at keeping in touch before we slept together as he is now...so it's not as if he's avoiding me just for that reason. But that bugs...I would have thought that would have changed things a BIT...but that's me living in my Disney World.

Then there's the other Eric. He was very interested. We were very comfortable with each other, & had a great time. He emailed me the next day, & a couple of other times since. He even asked when he could see me again, & said he'd be happy even just meeting for dinner again or hanging out or whatever. It didn't matter what we did, he just wanted to spend more time with me. The night we met, he didn't make a single move on me, other than softly caressing my cheek & hair. Those don't sound like the actions of someone who just wants a lay. Usually, guys are not affectionate if they just want sex, it's much more impersonal. But he seemed genuinely tender. He is going out of town this weekend, but told me he was pretty open next week, & wanted to hook up. That was on Wednesday. I haven't heard a response to my last email back to him since then. He didn't leave until late this afternoon. And I know he checked his email. I had a way to verify that. So now it appears that he isn't interested, either. I even sent him a birthday greeting yesterday, & he didn't thank me or respond at all. He was checking Hot or Not to see if he had gotten other responses from other girls. I have to wonder, in my slightly paranoid mind, if it had something to do with the last thing I said. He had asked if he could come over & listen to music on my couch. I told him, sure, but other than some makin' out, nothing more, cause I am not that kind of girl (hush, ya'll! I try to be good!). It's after that that I never heard from him again. I will see if I hear from him on Monday when he gets back in town....but it seems odd to me. Again...why express interest if it isn't genuine?

Then there's Daniel. We saw "Lord of the Rings." He told me he was treating for the tickets & concessions, but I produced money & offered to pay for my ticket & my concessions. He refused my money. If he didn't feel attraction & wasn't interested, there was the perfect opportunity to get out of paying my way. Seems like you wouldn't pay for someone you weren't interested in, especially if they offered to cover themselves. Then, about an hour or so into the movie, he reached out & wrapped his arm around mine. A short while later, he reached out & gently held my hand. He would also rest his head on my shoulder. When we parted ways, I reached out my hand to shake his, saying, "It was nice to meet you," & he pushed my hand away & engulfed me in a big bear hug. Then he smiled & said, "Call me...or email me." I told him I would. I wrote him a short email just to thank him for the movie & the snacks, & asked him if he wanted to go with me & my friends to the Magic Castle on Saturday night.

I never heard back from him. I left him both phone numbers, & he didn't call or return my email. I had expressed that I needed to know by 5PM that day, for reservation reasons (they are strict at the Castle). I still never heard back, not one way ("I can't go") or the other ("I can go."). Not an email, not a phone call. That was yesterday. I also know that he has checked his email.

Why would you reach out & cuddle with someone you weren't interested in/attracted to? Why would you want to hold their hand? I didn't make a single move....he did. I offered to pay for myself, he refused. He gave me compliments. What's the deal?

I make jokes about it, but the "standard 3-5 day waiting period" is really, really lame. I have never had a guy contact me after getting my number or after the first date until at least 3 days later. Are they embarrassed to admit that they have interest? Do they think that will make them look too eager, uncool, etc.? That's lame. There is nothing wrong with admitting an interest in merely getting to know someone better, right away. Nothing wrong at all. I have zero patience, & I refuse to play games. I'm too old. It just drives me crazy.

I deleted both Eric & Daniel as matches on Hot or Not, sending them an email through the service saying, "You have my contact info should you wish to keep in touch." I left it at that. We'll see what happens.

OK....I have friends staying over tonight after the Castle, & my living room is a pig-sty. I would like to be in bed by 11PM, so I have less than 3 hours to get the hall & living room clean. Yikes. And here I am procrastinating. And I am so sleepy.

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