February 18th, 2002

real Alice

(no subject)

Pretty accurate....and stolen from mysticprincess

Average@Internet-User.com (41% - 60%)
You seem to have a healthy balance in your life when it comes to the internet and life away from the computer. You know enough to do what you want online without looking like an idiot (most of the time). You even have your own Yahoo club or online journal! But you enjoy seeing your friends and going out to enjoy life away from your computer.

19134 people have taken this quiz.
And 8575 got the result "Average@Internet-User.com" like you.


real Alice

(no subject)

**Sigh**

This whole computer thing is totally stressing me out. This new computer is charging me an arm & a leg. I truly think it's going to be a great machine & very worth it...but still. Everyone has me second guessing myself. I have a few pc expert friends, & they all think I am getting majorly screwed. I have no way of knowing if that's true. Even Eric, while being a bit nicer about it, thinks I COULD be getting screwed, but COULD be getting a good deal for what I am getting. I just don't know. Regardless...the money is spent. So perhaps I have just learned a very expensive lesson. I am sure, however, that I will love this new machine...and I'd better.

Things seem to be going well with Eric. Things are progressing nicely. He came to see me perform at Knott's on Saturday, & didn't make too much fun of me. That's a good sign. He & Reggie had a good time hanging out at Knott's. They rode all the good rides, & after work, Eric came home with me. He was really, really tired because he didn't get much sleep Friday night (had a bad stomachache), so we went to sleep at 9PM. I woke up around 6, then 7:30, & finally got out of bed around 8. I left him sleeping while I took a shower & got ready for bed. He was practically comatose, in part due to the Benedryl he had taken before going to bed. I know that little pill will knock me out for a minimum of 12 hours! So I drove him to his parent's house, where his car was. He said, "Well, if you are in this area later & want some company, give me a call. Otherwise, I will just stop by your house tonight." I didn't get out of work early (thought I might due to rain), so he just came over around 8PM. He was so sweet...he worked on my pc for several hours. I was so excited to be able to check my email again...and when I logged on a particular screen name, I had many emails from guys from Hot or Not. I think that bothered Eric a bit...but he's the one who said he didn't know if he wanted a committment yet. He can't expect me to rule all other guys out while he's deciding. So later, when I went to check my Eudora mail, he said he was going to get a drink while I "read all the emails from my boyfriends." :-) Later, when he told me he couldn't stay over, I said, "Whatever....I know you have to get home to your other girlfriends." First, he said, "I don't have any girlfriends." And then he caught what I said (unintentionally), & turned to me, highly amused, & said, "OTHER girlfriends?" as if I implied *I* was "A" girlfriend, & he would be seeing his "other" ones. Ooops. I swear, I didn't even realize what I was saying.
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real Alice

(no subject)

Stress....stress....stress.....

I owe my father a large sum of money, for the sale of my Beetle. He has been asking me to send him a check for at least 2 weeks now. The problem is, I spent some of that money. Rent & a new pc, primarily. This would not be a tragic situation if my lazy uncle would get off his ass. Forgive me for sounding greedy & ungrateful.
But he told us we would get that money from our grandmother by mid-January or so. Here it is, almost the end of February, & no money yet. He knows I need it. The family knows I have no steady job. He knows I need this money. What could possibly be taking so long? How hard is it to write some checks? I spoke with my grandmother not too long ago about it (she brought it up), & she said that they had to wait for the financial reports to come in, or something, but that they were good to go now, my uncle just needed to get around to doing it...but he was "so busy" right now. Please. Too busy to help his niece? Come on! It's not difficult nor time consuming to cut some checks. He promised them mid-January, if not before. Last year, we had them in the first of January. Again, it's not that I mean to sound spoiled...greedy...impatient...but this is something we have gotten for 3 years, at the same time of the year, & we have begun to count on it. MD said that this would probably be the last year she could send us this money, & that's fine. I accept that. But this year....enough is enough. He's just being lazy. And it makes me mad. Now, I still have to wait to GET the check, deposit it, have them hold it for a few days, & THEN get my dad a check. And he is chomping at the bit & wants to know WHY I haven't sent him the money yet. "I spent some of it & am waiting to get money to pay you back" will NOT wash with my Dad. He would kick my ass. I simply cannot deal with that reaction. I had no choice but to spend that money...how could I NOT pay rent with plenty of money to pay it was sitting in my account? I HAD to get a new pc....even if I had gotten a much cheaper one---as my friends suggest---I still would have spent a good deal of money, after tax, etc.

And I still desperately need a job. I haven't been able to find anything yet. That's very scary, very depressing, very sad. I don't know what I am going to do.

I am not handling this "dating" thing terribly well. It's the uncertainty that drives me crazy. I could handle knowing Eric is not interested in something serious better than I can handle not knowing. It's the not knowing that kills me. I just like him so much already...which is especially scary since we have NOT has sex...and that is usually what makes me feel emotionally closer to a guy. But I am just liking Eric for Eric...without sex confusing me. But so far, I still don't know much about him. I know a few things here & there, but not much. I am thinking about, the next time we see each other, just sitting down & having a "q & a" session...just asking him a bunch of questions to get to know him a little better. My friend, Erin, gave him a quiz when he came to Knott's the other day. That was pretty funny. I will post the results here. It says a lot for him that he would even take the quiz! I just like him so much....but have no true idea where he stands. When he looks at me, & when he touches me, caresses me, etc....there is great depth to his feeling....there is a gentleness, an intimacy. His requesting that we slow down & NOT have sex yet could mean one of two things. Our first meeting, we got on the subject of sex. I definitely got the impression that is was something pretty important to him. I made a comment about how I didn't think sex was that important, & he said, "ummm...okay." And I could tell he didn't agree. So...either he doesn't want to have sex with me for some unknown reason (not attracted enough to...though that doesn't seem likely, since we make-out all the time, & quite passionately; sleeping with someone else...again, pretty unlikely, the way he talks he hardly ever dates; etc...), or he truly wants to take it slow because he DOES like me more...he doesn't want to make the mistake of rushing things because he really does like me more than just for purely physical reasons. Who knows? Maybe I should ask him about it....and I also want to ask him why he is "unsure" whether or not he wants a serious relationship right now. Communication is certainly key...and, at least in the past, he seems to appreciate upfront honesty & be good at telling the truth himself.

I wonder if he thinks about me as much as I think about him. I would almost think he does, since he told me to stop thinking about him...and when I said that didn't work, he said that it didn't work for him, either. We chatted a bit online today, but I'll bet he won't call for a day or two. I guess to talk every day wouldn't be "taking it slow." I also know he has volleyball on Monday nights & softball on Wednesday nights...I think. Honestly, I am not the type to even want to talk to or see a boyfriend everyday...but that's when I KNOW the status of the relationship...not when things are up in the air.

The Quiz, hereCollapse )
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