February 28th, 2002

real Alice

(no subject)

Crushed.....absolutely crushed.

I knew it was coming. I knew it. I KNEW it, yet my heart didn't want to believe it. The mind always has an easier time grasping such things than does the heart. The heart is more stubborn....it starts to override your brain.

I really need to get to bed, have to be on the set so early. Yet it's 1AM & I am still awake.

Crushed.

Will have to have a talk on Saturday. That won't be fun. I will get emotional. I know I will. I know me too well. Maybe I can pretend to be strong & then drive away & cry. Maybe.

No need to pretend now....those drops on my keyboard are real tears...no one to hide from. It's okay to show my true feelings when I am alone.

Sad.....so sad.

But I will get over it. I always do. Even the times I wish it would end, my life just keeps truckin' along.
  • Current Music
    silence & sniffles
real Alice

(no subject)

Just can't write anything substantial today....just don't have the energy. I got 3 hours of sleep last night, worked 12 hours today (if you really call it work), & am simply emotionally drained. I was listening to this particularly sad song on the "Sideshow" soundtrack on the way home, & was just bawling. People driving by must have thought I was a lunatic. I must have listened to the damn song 20 times on the way home...maybe more. Misery loves being more miserable, & I felt I kinda connected to the song....will post it soon.
  • Current Mood
    drained drained