March 4th, 2002

real Alice

(no subject)

My head hurts.....I am having some serious health issue. But it's entirely possible that it's mostly stress related. But I dunno. I need to go to the doctor, I am just worried about how much it will cost me. I think I should definitely see an opthamologist, because I have been having some serious problems with my eyes. That's nothing to fool around with. I need new contacts anyway.

Saw my friend, Aimee, get married yesterday. It was a breathtaking wedding. I disagree with spending $40K on something that will last 4-5 hours, but it was undeniably gorgeous. I even cried, & I don't usually get emotional at weddings (as if I have been to that many). It was held in this lovely place in Fallbrook, CA, called Grand Tradition. I think it's primarily used for weddings...but the website says it specializes in "special events." Grand Tradition . It's truly a beautiful location. It was a long walk to the ceremony site, down this long cobblestone walkway (the wedding party has to come down the same long, downhill path during the procession). It was right next to a small lake, complete with live swans. There was a gazebo set up for the ceremony. We were escorted to our seats (the ladies, anyway), & shortly after, the music started for the procession. I believe it was "Greensleeves," or something like that. The groom came down with his best man (his brother), the mother of the bride (maybe the grandmother of the bride, I can't remember), & then the bridesmaids, Erin (my best friend), J.J., Jill, Kristin (all girls I met at the bachlorette party, & I already knew Erin & Kristin, from Knott's), & then the maid of honor, Aimee's sister, Allie. All the girls looked stunningly beautiful. They had a profession make-up artist & hair stylist. They all had their hair done with the same basic style, with lots of sparkly glitter. Then, from around the corner of the main building, came a horse drawn carriage, carrying the bride & her father. Two gorgeous white horses & a beautiful carriage. That's when I started crying, because to me, that's every little girls dream. It was so beautiful. When they reached the end of the aisle, the "here comes the bride" music started, & we all stood. The minister was great, & beyond a short prayer, it was basically non-denominational & non-religious. Allie sang "My Valentine," & it was absolutely beautiful. I don't know how she did it, because I can't sing when I am emotional. All the bridesmaids were crying. Erin's mom (who I rode down with) was bawling. I sat with Jeff & Rachel Tucker. Jeff works with me at Knott's, Rachel is his bisexual wife. They are way cool, & I appreciated them being there, since I felt like a fish out of water, not knowing many people. Anyway, it was a beautiful ceremony, & I had honestly never seen Aimee more beautiful. She was glowing, & this was something she had wanted for years, more than anything. She's a pretty girl, but she just looked gorgeous. Her dress was lovely, with a pretty veil & a beautiful tiara, & her hair was perfect. I was a bit sad during the ceremony, for a few different reasons. For one thing, I thought how different it would be when I get married, without having my mother there. Mothers are a big part of weddings, & I won't have mine. Erin's mom, Heidi, said she'd be my mom at my wedding. :-) At least I still have my dad to walk me down the aisle...that's if HE is still alive by the time I find someone to marry me! And that's the other reason I was sad...things had just ended with Eric...and I found myself wondering...will there ever be someone out there for me? Will anyone ever truly love me? Will I ever meet someone who makes me happy? Will anyone ever love me unconditionally? Those of you who have someone, consider yourself blessed. Anyway, after the ceremony, Aimee & Matt rode off together in the carriage, & we all went inside to have snacks & beverages until the bride & groom showed up. They had a million pictures to take. Jeff, Rachel, & myself went to ride in the carriage, after they were done using it for pictures. It was a nice little ride. Shawn (Erin's fiance) came to hang out with me (we used to date), since Erin was busy taking pictures. We took lots of pictures (the bride & groom left a throw away camera on each table, for guests to use & leave for them...what a great idea!), & after the wedding party was announced (& descended a staircase), we had a lovely dinner. We danced a bit, & then I started not feeling very well. I was ready to leave, but had to wait until Heidi was ready to leave. At one point, I was dancing with Seth (Erin's younger brother) & Lindsay (Erin & Aimee's friend from high school, whom I met at the bachlorette party), & Seth said something really mean to me. He said, "You drive me fucking nuts," & he really didn't say it in a joking manner. He's 19. I understand. I told Shawn & Erin, & Erin told her mom. Finally, Heidi came over & was ready to go, & said she'd just leave & the rest of us could come home together in Shawn's car, but I told Heidi I was ready to leave & would ride home with her. As I was walking by Seth, he says, "Stay away from me," again, not really seeming to be joking. So later, when I passed him again, I stepped way back & gestured for him to pass, saying, "Here, let me give you a wide berth, I wouldn't want to get too close." In the car home, Heidi says, "Did Seth hurt your feelings?" I told her that he did, but I'm a big girl, I'll get over it. She apologized for him, & told me that he's going through a tough time right now. He wants to have someone, but has never had a girlfriend (& is almost 20). He's also on Acutane, which causes depression. He also is dealing with Heidi starting to date again, & it's tough for him. I said I understood, & to please not say anything to him, just let it go. I explained that I was just overly sensitive because of the stuff with Eric going on right now. Heidi & I had a great talk on the long drive home. She's a feisty woman, sometimes can be really irritable, but she's something to admire. She is extremely successful in business. She holds a high position, something like regional manager, for a top escrow business, & all her co-workers are male. She bought their home, which is a huge home in a ritzy, gated community in Tustin....expensively decorated. She's successful & independent, she doesn't need a man. She kinda wants to date now, but she doesn't NEED a man for anything. That is the way I want to be someday. And she tells it like it is....I love that.

I'm watching "Friends".....Jennifer Aniston reminds me SO much of my friend, Susan. Their mannerisms are the exact same. It's freaky to watch Jennifer, cause I feel like I am watching Susan. How sad...I just watched Thursday's episode....Joey told Rachel that he was in love with her, & she told him she didn't feel the same...and they both cried. It's always sad when you like someone more than they like you...

Which brings me to an issue I will talk about here so as to not bore people if they don't want to read it.Collapse )
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real Alice

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An aspiring actor in Cali was burned to death by a "mentally unstable" man. This psycho burned the man (alive) because he was gay. That disgusts me. Why are "mentally unstable" people allowed to walk the streets? And will this man avoid prosecution because he's nuts?

My sister sent me a virus today. I did not download the attachment, I deleted them from my system. The emails themselves were odd...for one thing, they didn't sound like my sister. For another thing, we aren't really speaking right now, so they seemed even more odd. I got two, one each to two different email addys. One was something about a girl named Gina at a hospice...the other mentioned something about donkeys! Suspicious, I emailed my sister at work, & asked her if she had a virus. She emailed me back & told me she had gotten one from her boss. Apparently, she's as stupid as me & didn't have a virus scan program on her home pc. Boy, did I learn that lesson the hard way, & now I suppose she has, too. Her friend, Cara, told me that it's a virus that attaches to Outlook, sends itself to everyone in your address book (apparently, being clever & sending out different messages?), & it destroys files you need to run your pc. My sister called me later & left a message saying that it had completely crashed her pc.

I had Eric call her, to see if he would help, or offer some advice.
She calls me a while later, & after I say hello (normally would have avoided her call, but I was on the other line, so I didn't know it was her), she says, "Who was that FREAK you had call me?" I said, "What are you talking about? That was my friend Eric." She said, "He's a freak!" And I said, "He's trying to HELP you!" She said, "Yeah, but he talked about different stuff, & he just went on & on..." I have no idea what she is talking about, because I told her to call me later, since I was talking to Erin on the other line, & she never called me back. I will have to email her to see why she thought Eric was such a freak, & talk to Eric & see what transpired. It was awfully nice of him to call her...and I can't imagine what had her so freaked out.

This case of the little girl murdered in San Diego County....I am wondering if her parent's lifestyle had anything to do with the little girl's murder? Her parent's were "swingers." In fact, the neighbor who is accused of killing Danielle (the little girl) tried to get in on the action...and the parents were fooling around with some "friends" in the garage when Danielle was kidnapped. Hey....I have no problems with a swinger lifestyle...IF you are single. If you have kids, BE A RESPONSIBLE PARENT! And that means not having an "alternate lifestyle." I am sad for them that they lost their daughter...no one deserves to have a child kidnapped & killed. But at the same time...shame on them. And I seriously wonder if it caused what happened to their daughter, in some sick way....