April 13th, 2002

real Alice

(no subject)

Next to "mom died....she's dead" & "Daddy Bob died this morning...you have to fly home for the funeral," I got the worst news of my life last night.

According to H&R Block, I owe about $3300 in taxes.

Ummm...anyone who knows me knows I don't have that kind of money. I barely make my rent. I usually pay my utility bills lates. Any money I am making right now has to go to current living expenses. While you can make payments to the IRS, there is no telling what their "minimum" will be, & I simply cannot add ANOTHER monthly expense...I am barely paying the ones I already have.

I don't know what's up. When the tax dude showed me on the screen what I owed to the federal gov't, it took me a while to realize that he was showing me what I OWED. I couldn't grasp that I would possibly have to pay that much in taxes. I blinked....and blinked again....and blinked again. And then had to keep blinking to hold back tears. I didn't want to cry in front of my friend Alicia & a complete stranger. As I typed this, I almost started crying again. If anything will get to me, it's money worries. I can handle almost anything else. But hit me where it hurts....in the (empty) wallet. And then the news just got worse...cause he then showed me the screen of what I owed the state. **sigh** It took many difficult gulps to get past the enormous lump in my throat.

See, the worst part is, I am not sure about any of this. For last year's taxes, I had taken out a large sum of money (MUCH larger than in 2001) from my mutual funds. But my H&R "tax specialist" last year didn't declare it, because it was an inheiritance, & taxes on that money had already been paid by my grandfather. But the tax dude this year says that THAT lady did it wrong, & legally, he HAD to declare it (especially since Proequities had already sent a copy of this to the IRS). According to him, the IRS could come after me for back-taxes, since the lady last year "did it wrong." Fortunately for me, on that front, I bought the $22 "Peace of Mind" coverage, so if she DID do it wrong, & the IRS DOES come after me, H&R Block is responsible for up to $4000. However...here's the catch....I am not sure SHE did it wrong & he did it right...HE might be wrong. I just don't know. My dad says I need to get a 2nd opinion...but here's the deal on that. I don't have buckets of money to pay to this & that so-called "tax expert." I already paid $165 to H&R Block. Now I have to pay someone else to CHECK this man's work? And what if the person I pay to check it is ALSO a dummy? What if the 3rd opinion "expert" is ALSO a dummy?
Does ANYONE know what the fuck they are doing? This is my LIFE here...this is money I DON'T have....this is aggravating my ulcer. This is a REALLY bad time for this. I am under tremendous stress. I don't need this shit. And I just find it sooo hard to believe I could possibly owe that amount. I have gotten money back every year but one. And the most I ever had to pay was around $500. And I made LESS than $17,000 last year...and have to pay $3300? HUH????? It doesn't make sense....I tried to call the IRS help number, but "due to the overwhelming volume of calls," you can only receive automated help. This makes me want to kick my own ass that I waited til the last minute to do my taxes....I have never waited this long before, but I have just been really busy. Well, I am regretting it now. I have to mail a payment Monday....and what if I don't truly owe at all? What a fucking mess this will be....but since I bought the "Peace of Mind" coverage again, H&R Block will be responsible for this trouble (IF he's wrong). That's the one consolation. But I still will have to shell out money for a "2nd opinion,"....if I can even find someone who knows what he/she is doing....

What a fucking nightmare....taxes should NOT be this complicated. If the IRS is flooded with calls, obviously, I am not the only person having problems. I just can't believe that the gov't takes SO much money out of my paychecks during the year, & then wants MORE money for me. In a $400 gross check, I might get $275. Ridiculous. Fucking greedy gov't.
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