I've been really, really crazy busy. I haven't had much time to post on LJ, much less read my friend's journal entries. My apologies. I feel like I never have a spare moment. I have soooooo much to write about, & I wonder when I will find the time to do it. I will try tomorrow. It's gonna be one looooooong mother of a post, catching up with everything (don't worry, it will be behind a cut...your choice to read or not). I kinda want to write about some of it tonight, but I am sleepy now. Soooo much has happened. *sigh*
I went to a Pagan celebration last Saturday night. I forget what we were celebrating (shame on me) but it was also the Priest (my friend Daniel) & Priestess's birthdays.
It was really cool.
We walked into the room one by one, got an oil smeared on our foreheads, a hug, & a blessed be. Then we had to walk into the room & sit on the floor in a clockwise fashion. They made the circle, which was cool. They did the "hail to the watch towers of the North/East/South/West, which is also really cool. Lit lots of candles, & the one representing the male god we were praying to didn't want to light, & kept falling over. There was lots of female energy in the room (Daniel was the only male, & he is gay). They did chants. They passed out cherries, & we ate them & wrapped the pit in a piece of tissue paper. We did a chant, & I am supposed to bury the pit in my backyard & repeat the chant 2 times. We were supposed to ask for any one wish, something we'd like to change in this coming season. I don't know if I am supposed to mention my wish....? They passed out random rune cards/symbols. Mine said "ADAPTIBILITY." Scary. I have none. I am extremely resistant to change. I DON'T adapt well. So I prayed for that personality trait to be added to my life. We then walked to the altar clockwise & placed out paper rune in the small bowl of fire. After I placed mine on the fire, & then Holly (the priestess) did, the fire got out of control (could be from me....I have been told I have lots of negative energy....not FROM me, but from others who wish negative things ON me). Holly decided to flick some of the blessed water on the fire to douse it...and it basically exploded. It was only water! Fire shot high into the air, & there almost appeared to be a picture in the fire. Everyone was taken aback. It was really cool! They finally put something over the bowl to put it out. Then we had to drink & eat to the gods & appreciation of our abundance. They did the watch towers in reverse, opened the circle, & we were done. It was really nifty. It was the second time I have participated in such a rite. I dig 'em.
Have you ever felt an emotion---positive or negative---SO intensely, that even years later, when you recollect that memory, you almost relive that emotion?
I am always able to re-feel the emotions from my mother's death. I can be in a perfectly good/happy mood, think about my mother's death, remember things...and be instantly sad, feeling those emotions all over again, seeing the memories in detail.
I also remember the day I got cast as Alice in Wonderland in the Farewell Season of the Main Street Electrical Parade at Disneyland, which had long been a dream of mine. I was so absolutely thrilled, dancing around, doing cartwheels, laughing, running up to everyone I knew & telling them.....I vividly remember that & those elated emotions.
I remember the emotions from when the only love of my life cruelly dumped me. I can still feel that pain....6 years later.
Is it just me? Can any of you still feel or at least vividly remember certain emotions you felt in your life, even years & years ago?
Wednesday night, I spent the night at my friend Alicia's house. Ashley, Amy, & Maranda slept over, too. It was really fun. The most entertainment came when we went to the grocery store. Maranda got IN the cart, & we all went through & picked whatever horrible junk food we wanted (me? cake mix, ice cream sandwiches, Philly Swirl, & Mug root beer). We had a lot of fun in the grocery store. Then we went back, made ranch & onion dip (of course, I avoided the onion dip with a ten foot pole), & talked about sex. That's always fun.
I bought a photo editing program to use. Microsoft Picture It! I recently installed it to my pc. It says on the box that it's Windows XP compatible.
I just clicked on it to use it, & it's FULL of script errors. I can't access the program, it just keeps giving script error after script error.
It tells me what to do to check compatibility with Windows XP. I would think I wouldn't have to do that since it's SAYS it's Windows XP Compatible!!!! But I click start, help & support, & then "find compatible hardware & software for Windows XP." It says I need an internet connection. I, obviously, have one. I click on it to search, it says I have no internet connection. Again, obviously, I do, since I am on the net right now. I continually click on "try again," & continually tells me I am not connected. WTF??? So what to do now???? Sheesh....
I find defense attorneys to be a bit dispicable. I am mainly referring to the ones who defend people whom they KNOW are guilty. My sister is a lawyer, & I used to have this argument. She would tell me that even IF someone was guilty of something, they STILL deserved a defense. My arguments was that some things are indefensible. You cannot defend yourself from drunk driving. There is NO defense for that. There is no defense for molesting a child. There is no defense for killing someone in cold blood...no defense for raping someone. When you defend someone like a child rapist/killer, & all the evidence points to this person's guilt (even DNA, etc.), & you feel they probably are....HOW can you defend such a person AND sleep at night? HOW? Especially if you, yourself, have young children?
I don't get it.
I was thinking about that shitty comment that nasty boy said about my weight & the weight of my friends. It reminded me of a comment Kayla said about me once. She was always insecure about her body, which I thought was gorgeous. I was complimenting her on her body, & I said, "I'd love to have your body for just one day!" She turned around & said, "I'd love to have your body for a day, too.....so I could lose ten pounds & give it back to you." Ummm...yeah, cause it's that easy! *hmph*