October 15th, 2004


And then there was one.....

It's done. Ernie is gone. It was heartbreaking. He cried all the way there in the carrier, he definitely did not want to go. Then once we got there, I opened the door of the carrier & just rubbed his head, & he calmed down & started purring deeply. He purred up until the moment he died. At one point, he stared right into my eyes, & I swear he understood. I couldn't believe how fast the injection worked...he was gone in about 10 seconds. He died with his eyes open & his tongue hanging out a little, in a sweet, cute way. He was such a big cat, he almost took up the whole exam table. I just pet him & told him I loved him...but he was already gone.

I keep reminding myself he is in a better place. A friend pointed out something sweet. Wednesday would have been my mom's 59th birthday, so Ernie is a belated birthday present for her. Ernie & my mom are in Heaven together, taking care of each other.

It was one of the saddest, hardest things I have ever had to do. I am not sure staying with him was wise, because I can't get the image of him that way out of my head. I have never watched an animal die...particulary one I loved. I still can't believe how quickly he was gone....

And then I left wondering, why can't humans be given that injection & be put humanely out of their misery? Why do we just end the suffering of our pets, why not us, too?

Oh well. God bless you Ernie. You were a great kitty. I love you. *wave*
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