I'm driving down the freeway, watching people break laws, treat each other with inconsideration, etc. I'm thinking...."I am SO done with this Earth....no one cares about anyone but themself...no one cares about their fellow man...respecting laws, driving carefully since a car IS a lethal weapon." It just all disgusts me. When I witness inconsiderate behavior---whether it's against me or not---it deeply pains me.
Then I get home to discover something that changed my outlook on humanity...at least for the rest of the day. *wink*
A complete stranger...a "mysterious benefactor"....an LJ "lurker" (he doesn't even have a journal, just lurks...couldn't get a code) sent me $200 to my PayPal account. With that money, I will be able to go to the ER & at least pay for some tests (chest X-rays are expensive, but every little bit helps more than I can say!). That will cover a good bit of that.
This person asked for nothing....not really, anyway...it was given "no strings attached." This person has been reading my journal for months, thinks I AM going to make it big, & just realizes I am going through a tough spot right now. He said that he was hardly rich, but he's discovered that helping others gives him great joy. He said that after sending that money to me, he was smiling for the rest of the day.
I was not asking anyone to give me any money....which makes this all the more special. And the fact that I don't know this man at all....even MORE special.
He requested 3 favors....(1) that I not feel guilty, (2) that I suggest some fun places to go at night in the OC area, & (3) that since he's hitting Knott's on Friday (lives out of town, & is in this area this week), may he please watch me perform/sing? Ummm, yeah, I think that can be arranged.
Amazing. $200. That's a lot of money. And extremely helpful. Knowing a stranger wants to help me get well means so much to me.
On the same token, I recently had 2 LJ friends also PayPal me some money...one sent me money to replace my brakes (my brakes were completely worn down, so much that there was a groove in the rotor), & the other sent me money to pay off my debt to my doctor so that I COULD get an appointment. I asked one for help (the brakes...I was desperate, & well...didn't want to die....and I am paying him back), & the other just sent me money...unasked....a total surprise. And I KNOW there's no way in HELL she'll let me pay her back. :-) I cannot thank all 3 of these "benefactors" enough. There are no words that express the extent of the gratitude that I feel. This has absolutely made my month. It has warmed my heart. It has restored some faith in humanity for me.
Again....I do not write posts hoping someone will feel sorry for me & send me money...but when they do....I am stunned & moved beyond words. It also means a lot to me when people simply WISH they could help me, or show emotional support. That means as much as money to me.
I just might find out what's wrong with me, after all...thanks to these guys.