Pollyanna (alicenwndrln) wrote,

Concerned mommy

I am typing this while sitting next to my new baby, Toby. I am so worried about him. Being a new doggy mommy, I do not know what is & what isn't "normal" doggy behavior.

He has something wrong with his right eye. I took him to the vet today, & he numbed the eye so he could look at it. But Toby was freaking out (I would, too, if I had tweezers stuck in my eye, & didn't understand what was going on), so he didn't get to look as deeply as he would have liked. So he just gave me some antibiotic ointment to put in his eye 3 times a day (that ain't easy). After 2 applications, his eye seems no better, he stills seems in great discomfort. That concerns me. I do not know how quickly I am supposed to see improvement. I told Dr. Simon that I was taking Toby into Beagles & Buddie's vet (B&B is where I adopted Toby) to have his teeth cleaned at their expense (they were supposed to do it before I adopted him), & he said if Toby's eye isn't better by then (next Monday, hopefully), they need to check his eye deeper while they have him under, so he doesn't squirm. But other than his teeth looking icky (whomever had him before neglected his teeth, for sure) & his eye being infected, Toby seems pretty healthy. Dr. Simon guestimates his age to be closer to 19, than the 7 B&B told me. There is no certain way to tell. I am a bit bummed that he's so old, cause that certainly gives me less time with him.

Toby is the sweetest little dog in the world. He is so well-behaved. He stays when I tell him to stay.....when I ask him if he wants to go for a walk, he starts wagging his tail & runs over to the front door. When we are out walking & I tell him we need to go home, he turns around & runs for my house. He sniffs everything, you would think he's a bloodhound (the doc suggested he could be a Beagle/Doxie mix...again, no real way to tell). He is a cuddler, he likes to snuggle up to sleep, & place his head on me. Sooo sweet, & sooo smart, & so darn adorable.

My friend, Karinn, & her hubby, Dale, were out for a visit this weekend. Dale almost never left the house because he fell in love with Toby & just wanted to stay in & play with him. Karinn says she hates small dogs, but would have stolen Toby if they didn't have 6 cats at home. She calls him a "lovey." And he is. He is eager to please. He let us bathe him, he rides in the car well (likes to look at the window, & LOVES to hang out it if we'll let him). I couldn't dream of a better dog.

I just wish I knew how to help him. I am going to call the vet tomorrow & ask how long before I should see an improvement in his eye, IF there is going to be one. To further worry me, now he has started to rub at the other eye, but maybe it's just "sympathy" rubbing???? I am such a worrywart....every time he scratches, I think, "Ohmigosh, does he have fleas?" Every time he scratches in his ear, I think, "Is there something wrong with his ear?" Sheesh....

I think having a pet is similar to having a baby, in the sense that they don't understand what is wrong with them, & you have no way to communicate to them that they will be okay, & that you are trying to help them, not hurt them (even if it hurts a little initially to help them). I think it was almost rougher on me at the vet, cause every time Toby whimpered or struggled (he was really good for the most part), it hurt ME. I wish there was some way to tell them they will be okay. Or rather, I wish there was someone to communicate that to them, in a way they would understand.

My other dog....Annabelle....I still haven't found her. I don't know if she was stolen or just ran away. But as far as just running away...how in the world would she have been able to undo her collar? It was the kind you have to pinch closed to open. There is no way she could have done that on her own. Even if she pressed her neck against something, you have to pinch BOTH sides together, not just one side. That leads me to assume that someone came along & undid it for her, either cause they thought "that looks cruel" (we had her tethered to the fence while we went to OSH to get something to prevent her from digging out), or they wanted to steal her. She is a beautiful dog with a wonderful, sweet temperament. Karinn & I posted flyers all over the neighborhood, & by the next night, almost every single one was removed (& yard sale signs remained). That also leads me to believe someone has her.

It is $300 down the drain...but I am the least concerned about the money. The only thing about the money that truly concerns me, is that (1) I am broke so that's a lot of money to "waste", & (2) I really wanted Toby to have a doggy friend, for the times I am not home, so he won't be alone in the backyard, & now I cannot afford to get another.

But I am most concerned with just getting her back, & her safety. I would be okay if I knew whomever had her was at least treating her well & loving her as much as I would have. I live close to the freeway, so there's that concern. Some lady called me saying her mother thinks she spotted Annabelle early Friday morning, near a dangerous street where the lady herself lost two dogs to them being hit by speeding cars. Annabelle doesn't know this area. If she's not stolen, she could still be wandering, scared to death, thirsty, tired, & hungry. If she wanders too far, the pounds that I am checking might not get her. I am checking two different local pounds, but she might have gotten pretty far by now.

I just don't know what to think. In my gut, I feel like I won't see her again. This makes me terribly, terribly sad. I only had her about 24 hours, but I already loved her. She was so sweet. I truly thought she wanted to be my dog. She seemed to really like me, & I loved on her as much as I could. I guess I was wrong, I guess she did not want to be my dog.....

I guess I need to look at it spiritually....if you love something, set it free, if it's meant to be, she will come back to me, if not....it wasn't meant to be. Easy to say....hard to get your heart to follow.

Whew! Doggy farts!!! ;-

Today is really the first day Toby has eaten, since I got him Thursday. I thought that maybe he was just excited to be in a new place. But it turns out, his teeth are so painful that the kibble I had for him was too hard for him to chew.
B&B said they only feed kibble, the never feed soft food unless they are giving medication. But I gave him soft food when we got home, & he SCARFED it down! So that is what I need to feed him from now on, at least until his teeth are fixed.

Duncan is slooooooowly adjusting to Toby, I think. Last night, Toby slept on my legs, & Duncan got as close as behind my head. They just stared at each other, a huge, long staredown. I think, at some point, Duncan jumped off, & Toby gave chase, but I barely remember cause I was asleep. Toby doesn't get too far, since I have his leash wrapped around my arm. I think they will be friends, eventually. It's a hard adjustment for Duncan, he hasn't been around any other animals (with the exception of my rats) for at least 4 years....and the last time he was around a dog was probably 6 years ago or so. He is used to being the only pet. Now he has to fight for my attention, & is scared to come too close when I am with Toby. I still try to give Duncan plenty of attention, but I think Toby needs more, since he's new to the family & in unfamiliar surroundings. He needs to learn that this is his home & his new family.

On a different matter (dogs have been just about all I have had on my mind lately!).....I auditioned for the "Electrical Parade" at Disneyland yesterday (actually, it will run at the new park, DCA). I did the Farewell Season of it in '96, as Alice in Wonderland. I was told by just about everyone that I was the best one there ever way, cause not only did I LOOK like Alice, but I could actually ACT, as opposed to all the cuties who looked good but couldn't act. Well, they did try me in the wig, but after 12 hours, I walked away with nothing. They didn't even give me Mickey or Minnie Mouse....which, frankly, surprised me, cause they always said I was excellent in costume.

I have mixed emotions. On the one hand, I am bummed. I truly love that parade, there's just something magical about it. I would have loved to have been in it again, especially as Alice. BUT.....at $7/hr for only a 4 hour shift.....I can make more money doing something else, & I really need money right now. $28 a night (BEFORE taxes) doesn't amount to much. AND the final dress rehearsals, which we would NOT be able to miss, were EXACTLY when I go on my summer cruise that has been planned for a year. All day I wondered how I would get out of that. Now I don't have to. So while I am bummed, I am also relieved, & honestly think it's for the best. I don't really need to go back to Disney. They didn't treat me well. I have moved beyond them. But I tell you what, it was nice to see old friends with whom I have lost touch. Everyone seemed so glad to see me....that was really nice.
But it was a loooong day, & I missed pay to be there, so that's a bit of a bummer, too. And all day I thought about Toby & wondered if he was okay....:-)

I guess that's all for now. I need to get some sleep, I have a full day ahead of me tomorrow. Alicia is coming over to help me put mix concrete & fill it in the dirt where Annabelle dug her way out (so if she DOES come back, she can't escape again, & so Toby won't get out....although he could have followed her that day, & didn't), & we need to go to B&B to get some medication to give Toby a few days before the surgery, & then we have to run off more copies of the "LOST DOG" flyer & stick them in everyone's mailbox, AND check the pound again. The pound....it broke my heart to be there. To walk through & see all those little dogs looking up at you, wagging their tails, looking at you with those trusting eyes, beseeching you to take them home with you....and then you realize that if SOMEONE doesn't adopt them, they will be put to sleep. It absolutely breaks my heart.

Why people don't spay & neuter their pets when they get them....is beyond me. Why people abuse pets is beyond me. I can understand getting a dog you end up not being able to handle, since it happened to me, but everyone should know that there are rescue missions that will take unwanted dogs & keep them for life, unlike the pound, which will put them to sleep. B&B....no matter how long a dog is there, if no one adopts him, they don't put them to sleep, they keep them forever. How can you take your dog to a pound, knowing they will put him/her to sleep? It truly breaks my heart. :-(

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