Pollyanna (alicenwndrln) wrote,

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I was soooooo pissed off a few hours ago, but I think I have cooled off a bit. For about two hours, my cheeks were bright red...THAT'S how pissed off I was.

And let me tell you something, I don't get THAT angry often or easily. I was spitting fire. I was so irate that when I spoke to my dad on the phone, he said, "I'll give you a call tomorrow when you've calmed down." Oooooooooooooooo, was I mad! And then I got even MORE mad when I got home & had to deal with something else.

The drama

The day was going along nicely enough. I got a lot of productive stuff this money, but of course, spent too much money. I finally made my yearly eye exam appointment. It was a bit overdue, and my eyes have been seriously irritating me lately, so I finally decided I should go. Since I wear annual contacts---as opposed to disposable---I really shouldn't go over a year with one pair. My exam went fine...my right eye has actually gotten better, so they are closer to being the same prescription (4.0 on the left, 4.25 on the right...so the right is slightly worse...funny, considering my eye accident was to the left eye). I ordered my new contacts (they don't keep anything but disposable in stock these days), & finally decided to break down & get new prescription sunglasses. I hadn't gotten any new ones in a loooong time, so (1) my old ones were SO not stylish & way too big for my tiny face, (2) were an old prescription, & (3) they had finally fallen apart. I actually took of my regular glasses one day in the car, & put on the sunglasses. I started freaking out, cause suddenly, I couldn't see out of my right eye. I went to touch my finger to the right lens, & my finger went all the way through & poked my eye...the lens had fallen out. So it was truly time. I got some really cute, hip frames, & with my Blue Cross insurance, I get a nice discount. They were still $200, & that's with a $40 frame (my prescription is really strong). The doctor said my eyes looked really healthy, but that some gel that your eye secretes is not being produced as much as it should, which might be causing the irritation & dryness. So she prescribed some anti-biotics for me, & she seems to think they will help. I'm willing to give it a whirl...but never too thrilled to deal with the possible yeast infection that follows.

I proceeded downstairs, & despite my statement that I won't buy any new clothes until I lose some weight, I bought this really cute top on sale...and hopefully, it will inspire me to lose some weight, since it shows some belly skin. :-) I also get a camera case & some VHS-C tapes for my camera. Then I get a pineapple-banana-orange smoothie, & I'm on my way.

I stop by Wendy's to try their Chicken BLT salad. I am TRYING to eat better. I TRY so hard to like salad. Really I do. I ate a few bites, thought "this isn't so bad," & then started to almost get nauseous. I cannot stand the texture of lettuce. I don't mind the really soft, flimsy pieces so much, but the crunchier pieces just traumatize me. Seriously. I cannot tolerate the hard white pieces at all, so I threw those out. But eating this salad almost had me in tears. I want so badly to be able to eat foods that are better for me....but I just can't. So I finished the bacon bits, the shredded cheese, the croutons, & the chicken....and threw the rest out. I ate maybe 1/2 to 3/4 of it, I think. But I doubt I will be buying another one. Ick. I just don't think I can do it, damnit. I wanna like it...I just don't. I can't get it out of my head that I am eating leaves. I mean, why not go pluck some leaves off a tree, toss on some dressing & eat that? {{shiver}}

Next, I have an appointment with Best Buy to install my new alarm. The main reason I am getting this alarm if for the keyless entry feature. It's so much more convenient than using the key, & the factory alarm is CRAP. If I lock the doors from the inside, it sets the theft device, & the alarm goes off for no reason...and honks the horn until it wears down the battery. Annoying. So I finally got this one. It wasn't cheap, but the price came with installation, & I figured in the long run, it would be worth it. I was less concerned about the actual alarm, so I asked them to set the sensor really low. The guy promised me that it was set low enough that it would not go off if a car passed, or from someone knocking on the window, etc. IT wouldn't be that sensitive. I went into Best Buy, got the "Princess Diaries" DVD (hey, every sale benefits me, through residuals), got a camera battery, some blank CD-Rs, etc. Went back & sat in a really uncomfortable chair for about 2 1/2 hours or so while they installed the alarm. Then the guy explained to me how it worked & I paid the extra fee (backup battery, etc.). He then backed my truck out of the bay, & said I was good to go. So off I drove. I needed to drop off my rent check at my landlord's house. So I got on the freeway, went the few exits down...and started smelling burning rubber, or some nasty brake smell. For a while, I think it's not me....and then when I get to my landlord's, I sniff around the truck, & see that the smell IS coming from the rear of my truck. But I don't see anything (like I would know what I was looking for), so I get in & drive for home. Thank God, in retrospect, that the freeway was in rush hour, leading me to take the side streets home. Because my truck starts smoking. First, I think it might be the truck next to me. Then I realize, no, it's definitely me. I think about pulling over, but at this point, I'm SO close to being home, I just want to make it there. So I keep going. But the smoke gets worse & worse. I call Eric, cause he knows a lot about cars, & I start telling him what's going on, & just get the words, "I'm freaking out," out of my mouth, when I notice the stoplight ahead turning red. I go to put my brakes on....and I have no brakes. My brakes are GONE! The pedal goes to the floor. I cannot describe in sufficient words how scary this moment was. To be pressing on the brake, & have nothing happen....frightening. Thankfully, I had already slowed down, so by the grace of the universe/God, I make it into the next lane, & pull off (poorly) the road, almost blocking someone's driveway, & throw the truck into park. By now, there is so much stinky smoke coming from the back of my truck, you'd have thought it was on fire. I start bawling, & Eric's trying to figure out what's going on, & trying to calm me down.
I told him that I lost my brakes, & to my annoyance, he's talking to people in the background. I spot a car service garage down the block a bit & across the street, so I run over there, in the rain, & talk to the mechanic. He says to drive it over (with no brakes....Einstein!), & he can look at it "first thing in the morning." Yeah, & what am I supposed to drive home & back (this was around 4:30, so yeah, quitting time)? I tell him, thanks, but never mind. I go back to my truck, & call AAA. They say they'll send someone out to tow me wherever I want to go...as if I know. I start bawling again to the poor AAA dispatcher, & he starts trying to calm me down. He tells me he will stay on the phone with me until the tow truck arrives, if I need him to. How nice! I told him I'd be okay, but thank you. I call my dad, & lament, "Can you please explain why I have so horrible luck with cars?" I explained what happened, & he said it sounded like a cut or severed brake line, or a ruptured piston, or whatever. Finally, the tow truck guy gets there. He gets in on the driver's side (I was sitting in the passenger side), & releases the parking brake. DING! DING! DING! I never SET the parking brake! The DUFUS back at Best Buy left my parking brake on, & while setting up the alarm, evidently didn't reconnect the wire to the parking brake light, so I had no indication that the parking break was on!!! I had driven probably at LEAST 10 miles, including going 65 on the freeway, with the mother fucking parking brake on! I DID notice that the truck was sluggish when I put it into drive, & actually CALLED Best Buy on my cell to ask the installation guys if they could have possibly done anything that would cause this. The guy was like, "Nope...can't be anything we did." So I figured it was a coincidence...but my truck was 100% fine when I left it with them. So...the guy put the parking brake on, & then didn't remember, & since he didn't reconnect the wire for the light, he didn't realize it was still on when he reversed out of the bay. And I had no clue, cause I didn't see the light either, I hardly EVER use the parking brake, AND I would have thought he wouldn't reverse with the parking brake on. So...now I am ROYALLY PISSED OFF instead of upset. I realize that we are all human & all make mistakes, but this mistake could have seriously hurt me. At the LEAST, I could have caused a fender bender...at the most (if I had gotten on the freeway), I could have died when the brakes overheated & failed. I was so angry, I can't even describe it. I called my dad & told him what happened, called Eric, & asked him if he wanted to come over tonight to get his charger instead of tomorrow night, since I was now too drained to go on with my plans tonight & would just be staying at home (was supposed to go to an acting seminar at the Celebrity Center). He said he had a focus group at work from 6-8, & if he got out around 8, he would come on over. I decided to wait until I got home to call Best Buy. I needed to calm down a bit. When I got home, I called & asked to speak to a manager on duty. I got a nice woman named Tara (I think). I explained the situation to her, & I said, "I really don't want to get the guy in trouble, but I would really like to prevent this from happening again. Something really awful could have happened, & I definitely need to get that wire re-attached." She was a bit stunned by the whole story, & apologized profusely. She said that using the parking brake was NOT "SOP," so she couldn't even figure out how that happened. I surmised that perhaps, since he was down in that area doing most of the work, he accidentally leaned on it & set it part of the way, & didn't realize it. I told her that mistakes happen, we are all human...but they REALLY need to be more careful in the future. This was a REALLY scary experience, & she was really sympathetic. She said she needed to talk to the supervisor in charge of that area, & call me back. When she called me back, she said that Todd, the supervisor, wanted to know if I could bring the truck back in tomorrow morning, & he would be waiting for me. He will personally look over everything, make sure everything is set up correctly, & I might need to fill out some claim forms. To make matters worse....since I have been home (since after 5), I have had to run outside & disarm the alarm no less than 6 times!!!! Not sensitive my ass! My nipples are less sensitive than this alarm! When I run outside, I see nothing that could have possibly set the alarm off. And of course, it's REALLY loud, & my driveway is REALLY close to my neighbor's window. So on top of it being a pain in the ass, I feel really bad for my neighbors. I am sleeping on the living room couch tonight, because I have no doubt the alarm is going to go off all night. So all night, not only do *I* get to get up & run outside to disarm it, but my neighbors get to try to sleep through it. Ai-yi-yi!
I feel awful about that! And I can't NOT set the alarm...I tried. If I unlock the doors, & try to manually lock them & not set the alarm, the alarm sets itself in about 30 seconds. **Sigh** What a night this will be for me! As if this day hasn't been long enough.

As if all THAT is not enough for my poor little heart/mind/soul to handle....

I get home to a rather unpleasant email from Eric. I did something that I guess he sees as wrong...but I can't see that...I am not sure what I really did wrong. Shelly, his 18 year old friend that he met off the internet (whom he's in love with but won't admit cause I don't think it's mutual...yet), has her pic & profile up on Facethejury.com. It's a site very similar to Hotornot.com. People can rate your pic, & IM you, email you, whatever. Eric had shown me her profile once. She's a cute girl. The other day I decided, on a whim, to post my pic & profile here, just for shits & giggles. While browsing through the pics, I came across Shelly's. On an even bigger whim, I decided to send her a friendly email. I said something along the lines of, "Hi, I'm Cassie, I'm a friend of Eric's. He showed me your pic online, & I like your profile. I don't think he'll get mad at me for saying hi! How do you deal with all these crazy guys on this site? I keep getting tons of IMs from guys your age! Anyway, it'd be nice to know another girl on this site, so say hi sometime if you want." Was I wrong to approach her? I honestly had no ulterior motives. I didn't think it would amount to a great friendship, but still felt it couldn't hurt. And I couldn't imagine that he'd be pissed. I guess I was wrong. Apparently, she was "freaked out" by some girl she doesn't know emailing her saying she was friends with Eric, so she called Eric & told him about it. Excuse me? Freaked out by a friendly email from a chick, but she's okay with the hundreds of emails she gets daily from strange men online? There's something wrong with that. Anyway, I had sent Eric this kinda long email, talking about this & that, & he responded saying, "Might I ask why you emailed Shelly?" I responded telling him I was just trying to be friendly, & what was he worried about? If he was worried I would mention the physical relationship we had had, I assured him I wouldn't, since I was trying to forget about it myself. He wrote me back this lovely email I received after my truck trauma. He wrote me a looooong email basically chewing me out while be slightly restrained, saying I had no right to go "behind his back" & contact Shelly. He also said I insinuated that he told me to email her, when he didn't (ummm....okay). He told me not to contact her again, & restated that *we* are JUST friends, & if he ever decides to introduce me to any of his OTHER friends, he will. And since I had said that I was further puzzled as to why he would mention only that after the first email I had sent him, he said, "It was a long email with little content." Nice. So I wrote him back & told him I didn't think I wanted him over tonight or tomorrow night. I didn't have any malicious intent, & him insinuating I did proves how little he knows me. I said it was completely innocent, just an act of friendliness, & boy, did I now regret it. I apologized for upsetting him, & for freaking her out. I assured him I wouldn't contact her again. I told him I wasn't aware I needed his permission to contact someone who has a pic/profile online inviting emails from strangers, & wasn't aware that he owned her. Then I said, "I am also swinging by your parent's house on Saturday with tickets to Knott's & brownies as a thank you gift. Your dad expressed wanting to see me perform with sincerity, & if for some reason they don't want the tickets, you can mail them back to me. If no one will be home, I will leave everything on the porch. No, this doesn't mean I am going to be trying to hang out with your folks, this is a one time 'thank you' to them. If you don't want to be around their house when I come by Sat. night, consider this your warning. Oh...do I have your permission to see your parents?" I told him I wasn't sure what I wanted...but maybe it would be good if he came by tonight, we got some pizza, & talked this out, because I liked him enough to be friends. But I said if he didn't want to work this out, then I could leave his charger on my front porch (in a baggie since it's raining), or I can bring it with all the stuff for his parents on Sat. Well...he must have gotten that email before leaving work. Because he was supposed to have been done with the meeting around 8....it's now 10:45 & I haven't heard a peep from him....not even to call me & say he's not coming, he's pissed & he's not coming, or an email saying, "Fuck off...oh, and I'm not coming over." Nothing. How rude. The least he could do is tell me that, so I'm not waiting around.

My guess is that this is REALLY over. Friendship & everything. That's a real shame. He can be such a great guy...but he's obviously got some serious issues & some serious growing up to do. I'm definitely sad that I might never see him again, but I am sure it's probably for the best. He talks non-stop about the "internet drama" he's gone through....it makes me seriously wonder if it's not HIM, not the internet. I have been online dating & meeting people online for 2+ years, & have never had THIS amount of drama with anyone.

Maybe I made a mistake contacting Shelly...but I didn't mean any harm. He talks about her so fondly, I thought it would be nice to get to know her. And since he claims that she & I are his only friends in this area, what would have been the harm if we had gotten to know each other???

Sheesh.....drama, drama, drama....I'm exhausted.

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